Two Meals

TWO MEALS

Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn out its seven pillars. She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table. She has sent out her maids, and she calls from the highest point of the city. ‘Let all who are simple come in here!’ she says to those who lack judgment. Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed." Proverbs 9:1-5

Food serves our bodies and our relationships. The nutritional value of the food sustains our bodies and gives them strength. The relationship value of food sustains our bond with family and friends when we dine together. Mealtime provides opportunity for being vulnerable, sharing stories, enjoying fellowship, healing past wounds, and eagerly anticipating future banquets together.

So important is this latter function of sharing a meal together to build and sustain relationships that the Bible draws upon the experience to illustrate higher realities beyond the meal itself. Proverbs 9:1-6 is an example of that.

Two meals are served in Proverbs 9, the first by an industrious host commonly referred to as Woman Wisdom. This woman built a house requiring seven pillars, indicating it is wide and spacious, thus able to accommodate many guests. She set a luxurious table of meat and wine. Meat was a special treat for many ancient people, and the wine was mixed, meaning she probably added special spices to create a unique and satisfying flavor. After the meal was ready Woman Wisdom sent her servants out to the highest point of the city to cry out, "Let all who are simple come in here ... Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed." Those who attend this banquet will find nourishment for their bodies, but they will find even more. The fellowship value of this meal means that those who dine here will be able to "walk in the way of understanding."

Meanwhile, another woman in Proverbs 9 is inviting guests in to her meal as well. This hostess is known as Woman Folly. Unlike Woman Wisdom, this second lady in not industrious with her house or her meal. In fact, she is loud, undisciplined and foolish. Instead of working hard she sits in the doorway of her house and calls out to those passing by, "Let all who are simple come in here!" She invites the same people Woman Wisdom does! In fact, they both proffer their invitations at the highest point of the city, a place of great significance, and they invite the same people, those who are simple and gullible. But whereas the first lady served fine meat and wine, the second serves stolen water and food. "Stolen water is sweet," she says, "food eaten in secret is delicious." The enticing element of this second meal is not the nutritional value of the food, but the excitement of the erotic and forbidden nature of the meal. It is secretive, and those who dine here do not nourish their bodies, but revel in pleasures that are improper. In fact, any pleasures experienced by those who fill themselves on this meal will be short lived. "Little do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of the grave." (Prov. 9:13-18).
Obviously, something is taking place here that is larger than the meal itself. The Sage is using food and meal as a metaphor for paths of life. Woman Wisdom, the grand and industrious lady who serves a fine meal and whose diners become wise, is issuing her call from God. She is inviting the simple to come follow the ways of divine wisdom and godly ethic. She calls the gullible to leave the world and enter relationship with God.

Woman Folly, on the other hand, represents any competing thought, personality or system to the great God of heaven. Like Woman Wisdom, Woman Folly is positioned at the highest point of the city, the place where temples were built in ancient society. Whereas Woman Wisdom represents God, Woman Folly would represent the false idols and religions that plagued Israel. Today, she would represent anything that calls us away from godly living with its promise of sweet, forbidden drink and pleasure.

God has served a meal, rich, succulent, hearty and nutritious. It feeds more than our bodies; it feeds our lives, character and souls. In the immediate context, the meal is the wisdom of Proverbs. In the larger context, the meal is the whole Bible, from which we learn of the invitation to salvation in Jesus and a relationship with God.

The father calls us. "Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have fixed. Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of understanding (Prov. 9:5-6). Dinner is served. Will you come?

Warren Baldwin

Note: Please read Laries review of Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems from Proverbs on her blog, My Heart Speaks.

JUDGMENT OR MERCY?

JUDGMENT OR MERCY?

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

Bill and Karen were blind to their own weakness and hypocrisy. They felt very comfortable acting as the judge and jury of their congregation as they ruled on doctrinal soundness, member behavior and moral performance. Bill and Karen exuded confidence to the point of pride. It was inconceivable to them that they could be wrong in their judgments or in their own personal deportment.

One of Bill and Karen’s chief problems was a poor memory. When Jeremy, a young man in the congregation, was arrested for possession of an illegal substance at a party, Bill and Karen turned their full attention to his case. They followed his arrest and court proceedings. They wondered if Jeremy showed enough remorse when he came back to church. Even his parents seemed a bit too casual about the whole problem. Bill and Karen didn’t like what they saw and expressed their concern and dismay to a number of members, but managed to restrain their full displeasure. But when Jeremy was asked by someone to help pass the collection plate, Bill and Karen couldn’t contain any longer.

"What is this church coming to? Here is a young criminal coming back to church before his sentence is even announced, and we welcome him back as if nothing happened? Shouldn’t something be said at church? Shouldn’t he have to make a statement of apology to all of us? When Simon the Sorcerer sinned publicly, wasn’t he publicly condemned by the Apostle? Should we do any less? I mean, we still love the boy, that is why we are so concerned. If we treat his sin too lightly, other kids in the church might start taking drugs, too. We can’t believe the church is doing this. Somebody needs to do something!"

Much of what Bill and Karen say is true. God does want confession for sin (1 John 1:8). Peter did severely castigate Simon. A bad example can lead others into bad behavior. Can anyone argue with these biblical principles?

But here is where Bill and Karen have a problem that is even more severe than that of Jeremy and his parents: they can be right in their judgment but totally wrong in their attitude and disposition. Having played the role of judge and jury for so long has deceived them into thinking that they are fit for that role by some kind of moral superiority. They simply cannot conceive that their judgment would be wrong. They cannot conceive that they could be wrong.

And they can’t remember their own past.
Twenty years ago, in this same community, Bill and Karen’s son was arrested for possession of an illegal drug. Further, he was arrested for drug use, underage drinking, and dealing. He was even guilty of repeat offenses. Over a period of several years and a couple of treatment programs, their son gained his sobriety, paid his debt to society, and began living cleanly. Today he is in a healthy marriage and is involved in his church.

But Bill and Karen forget that. They also forget that the church, the same church they are attending now, forgave their son and encouraged him in his first steps of sobriety.

Members of the congregation are speechless that today Bill and Karen would be so harsh and judgmental toward another young man guilty of a lesser offense than was their own son. Can they not remember?

How can Bill and Karen be so judgmental? Can they not remember their own families struggle years ago? Of course they can, but they choose not to. To remember would require humility and admission of their own family’s failings. Bill and Karen do not have the internal strength or moral integrity to make such an admission. Pride is so much easier. And a natural function of pride (not self respect, but haughty arrogance) is that we sit in judgment of everyone around us. A haughty spirit makes us feel safe and secure. It insulates us from moral assessment by other people and steels us to our own moral ineptness and hypocrisy.

That is why pride eventually leads to a fall. Haughty pride that sets us above others to judge and evaluate them also puts us in competition with God. The proud and haughty person is in essence trying to unseat God and do his job for him.

Does all this mean that we can never judge the attitudes or behavior of others? Of course not! We must recognize sin and name it (Rom. 1:18-32). We must call people to repentance, confession, baptism, and faithful living. But, we must remember four things as we minister to those in sin.

One, the Bible calls us to put off ungodly dispositions and actions from our own lives (Col. 3:5-9). The person who condemns sin in another while ignoring it in himself is sinful and invites God’s judgment upon himself (Rom. 2:3). His haughty spirit will lead to a fall before the throne of God.

Two, judgment must be done with a view toward restoration, reconciliation and peace (James 5:19,20). Even if the proud man’s judgment against another sinner is true, his arrogant disposition ruins any opportunity for real healing and peace to follow. "Pride only breeds quarrels ..." (Prov. 13:10), not friendship.

Three, the Bible calls for us to exercise mercy. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matt. 7:1-2). How can Bill and Karen read these verses and not feel a twinge of guilt that the same mercy and kindness that was extended to their son they now deny to another’s son? Oh that they could hear these words from Jesus: "Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" (Matt. 18:33).

Finally, Proverbs is very clear about how God feels about pride: "The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished." (Prov. 16:5). How ironic that in condemning another with a haughty spirit (even if the judgment itself is correct), the proud person threatens his own spiritual security.

Bill and Karen have enough biblical foundation to what they are doing to convince them and many of their close friends that they are right, always and without fail. Yet they can only maintain that posture by exercising an excessive degree of pride to mask their sin and keep their critics at bay. Yet all they while they are inwardly hoping no one will have the temerity to ask, "Ah, what about your son? Remember twenty years ago? Can you not extend a little compassion to Jeremy and his family?" No, they can not extend compassion. That is one of the pitfalls of pride, and one of the reasons it sets us up for a horrible fall.

Warren Baldwin

A KIND MAN

A KIND MAN

A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself. Proverbs 11:17

As a kid, I remember strangers knocking on our door in the country. City folks, many of them. They were usually lost, out of gas, or broken down. Mom and Dad always helped them with a few gallons of fuel or some makeshift repair on their automobile. I even remember one couple breaking down and staying at our house all night. In all those years, I never remember my parents taking any of the money that was offered to them for the help, service, or gasoline they gave. Never.

"Here, take a few bucks for the gas," someone would offer.

"No," Dad would say. "I’m just glad you appreciate it. But if you want to pay me back, next time you see someone broken down or in need of assistance, help them. That is how you can pay me back."

"A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself."

A kind man benefits himself . . . maybe a man like Abraham? Abraham had his character flaws, but he also had his character strengths. Remember when his nephew Lot was captured in battle? Forsaking his own safety, Abraham raised a band of men and went after Lot and rescued him. Even earlier, when Lot’s herds and Abraham’s herds grew too large for the land to support them, Abraham in his kindness allowed Lot to select the land he would like to move into. That was kindness.

That kindness paid off for Abraham. He was richly blessed by God. That’s not to say, of course, that every time we do something nice for someone we can expect a flood of blessings from heaven in reciprocation. As Christians, we have already received an abundance of blessings from heaven, including our redemption. But in a general way, acts of kindness tend to generate other acts of kindness, and at least sometimes, they come back to us. A kind man benefits himself.

A cruel man brings trouble on himself . . . maybe a man like Ahab? Ahab was the king who wanted the vineyard of Naboth. Naboth was living on land he inherited from his ancestors though, and he wasn’t willing to sell it to the king. Ahab’s wife, Jezebel, wasn’t one to let a simple citizen disappoint the aspirations of a king! She conspired with some lowlives to frame Naboth on trumped-up charges and had him executed. Ahab was a cruel man who was later killed in battle. Jezebel was a cruel woman who was later thrown to her death from an upper-story window. A cruel man brings trouble on himself.

A proverb is a truism or principle. A proverb should not be thought of as a rule that always works itself out in the same way in every circumstance. It is a principle that says, "In general, this is a statement that reflects my experience in life."

Somewhere in Solomon’s life, he experienced this truism: "A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself." Perhaps it was a kindness passed on to him he consciously passed on to another who passed it on to another who . . . well, you get the point. Whether it is sharing gasoline with a stranger knocking at your door or sharing food with a hungry child across the street, acts of kindness have a life to them that keep on living and enriching the lives of others.

In my many travels, especially as a college student driving old cars, I have been the recipient of a kind gentleman stopping to offer a hand to a kid who looked like he was in trouble. At times, I’ve offered a few bucks as a thank you. I’ve heard these words echoed from my childhood: "If you want to pay me back, next time you see someone broken down or in need of assistance, help them. That is how you can pay me back."

Warren Baldwin

This article is from my new book, Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems from Proverbs.

Fitting Speech

FITTING SPEECH

"The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse." Proverbs 10:32.

Children can sense when decency has been violated. I was driving Wes and Jenny home from school when Wes asked me what a certain phrase meant. He was eight years old and had never heard that term before at home. I asked, "Where did you hear that?" "On the playground," he answered. "I’m glad you asked me what the phrase meant before you started using it. It’s not very nice, and I’ll have to explain it to you later when your five-year old sister isn’t around. She doesn’t need to hear about that yet."

Jenny had been sitting in the middle of the pickup seat during this conversation. Her eyes were big with curiosity and her head swivelled back and forth between Wes and me as we talked. When she heard that she would be denied the explanation until she was a bit older, she covered her ears with her hands and said, "Go ahead and tell him Dad, I can’t hear anything." "You can’t?" I asked her. "No, I can’t," she replied. I waited until later.

Children may not know what a vulgar term means, but they can sense if it has the ring of impropriety about it if they have never heard it spoken before in the home, church or other social gatherings of family and friends. They sense that an order has been violated and they are curious, even uncomfortable, about what it might mean.

This order or appropriateness is what Proverbs 10:32 is about. People who are righteous or wise in matters of godliness and propriety speak words that are fitting and pleasant; people who are not wise or righteous speak words that violate sensibilities and offend. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse

It seems strange to speak of lips as having knowledge, doesn’t it? "The lips of the righteous know what is fitting." Can lips know anything? This is an example of a common figure of speech in Proverbs known as metonymy, where one object is used in place of another object it is related to. Here, lips are used in the place of a heart that is attuned to God and his will. Such a heart is filled with a sense of God, his moral teaching, and his high regard for other people. The lips of this person express the substance of a heart filled with godly wisdom and righteousness, uttering words that are fitting and pleasant.

The lips or mouth of the wicked, however, speak what is perverse. Perverse means to "turn upside down" (Roland E. Murphy, Proverbs, p.76). It implies that proper order has been completely disrupted and upended. Instead of an atmosphere of appropriate speech characterized by intelligent discussion, respectful tones and encouragement for one another, perverse conversation is distasteful, even ungodly. The effect of such speech is to "confound the moral judgment of others, and to overthrow God’s rule" (Waltke, Proverbs. 1:480).

Do Christians take the subject of appropriate speech seriously enough? Are we occasionally lured into conversation or humor muddied by base innuendo or course language? Do we engage in negative, slanderous putdowns of other people? We may regard such offenses as inconsequential, but Proverbs 10:32 challenges our casual disdain. The mouth of the wicked (speak) only what is perverse. Another proverb threatens that such a tongue shall be "cut out" (Prov. 10:31) by God himself. Such a warning constrains us to examine our hearts and temper our tongues.

To be perverse means to turn God’s order upside down. It means to reverse the intention God had for the heart, purity and innocence, and fill it with filth and degradation. It means that when a heart that is impure speaks, wickedness flows forth. That wickedness may be gossip, slander, lies, course jokes, crude expressions or threats of violence. All of these manifestations of perverseness give evidence of a heart in need of cleansing. Even small children with tender hearts sense this. If only Christian adults had such spiritual orientation!

Our words reveal the substance of our heart. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting because they speak from a heart influenced and shaped by the Creator.

Warren Baldwin

UP IN THE DUMPS

UP IN THE DUMPS

Story of guy who has hard luck (in file). Can you blame this guy for being "down in the dumps?"

Feeling down in the dumps generally means we
1) Have had a bad turn of events. Even a string of them.
2) We have internalized those bad events and we feel bad inside.
3) We make ourselves the center of everything. Focus on ‘self.’
4) We engage in self-pity. This can lead to feeling mildly depressed if it lingers.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

These same feelings can happen if we feel "up in the dumps." Ok, I coined that term. I am referring to when things go tremendously well for us. Ironically people can have the same negative emotions as when everything goes bad! Maybe they fear the good things will end and worry about something bad happening. If they have a negative disposition they can’t feel good even when things are fine!

Elijah might relate to this. This great prophet faced 450 prophets of Baal and beat them. He purged Israel of the leadership of an immoral cult. Any preacher would have been pleased! But with success, even good and spiritual success, comes attacks. Elijah’s attack came from the queen who threatened to kill him.

Elijah was afraid of Jezebel’s revenge and he fled. 1 Kings 19:3. Eventually, Elijah found his way to a cave and tried to hide. 1 Kings 19 gives some insight into Elijah’s emotions.

Woe is Me

1) Elijah cried out, "I have had enough." 1 Kings 19:4
Enough of what? Perhaps having to deal with a wicked king and his wife. Maybe having to deal with the false teachers and false religion of Baal. He may have been tired of dealing with his own countrymen for turning from God to paganism. I think he was just tired of ministry.

"I can’t take anymore!" We all have a threshold of pain that we can tolerate. We can only take so much criticism, annoyance and disappointment. Eventually we will burst. Elijah was at that point.

If you are ready to cry out, "I can’t take anymore!" remember two things. 1) Yes you can. Most of us can take at least a little more. If nothing else, we can often decide to calm down and get away for a bit. That’s actually the second point. 2) Take a break. Step back. Rest. Most of us quit to soon: our marriages, our friendships, our jobs. Take a break, yes, but hold on and hang in there! Aren’t we glad Jesus didn’t cry out, "I’ve had enough!" Someone else may be hanging on our faithfulness.

2) Next Elijah cried, "Take my life!" (19:4)
Does he really believe his life is not worth living? He has just experienced a great spiritual victory, and now he is giving up?

Several things may be coming to bear on Elijah. He has been under a lot of stress. His spiritual reserves have been tested to the threshold. Just think about it! How many of us like having one person oppose us? Elijah has had the king, the king’s wife, and 850 false prophets opposing him. 450 of those prophets he faced in one encounter. He challenged them to a test and Elijah won, because God was with him. Then the queen threatened his death. He fled into the desert. He was tired, hungry and thirsty. In this weary, defeated stated, he fell asleep.

Have you ever been so stressed you despaired of life? So tired you didn’t want to go on? So scared you were afraid of what another day would bring? Then you know Elijah felt. "Take my life!"

Elijah’s spirit at this point was "Woe is me." But that revealed something in Elijah that we all have: a flaw. Elijah’s flaw was "Look at me."

Look at Me

God didn’t leave Elijah alone. He sent an angel to minister to him. The angel didn’t challenge Elijah or reprimand him in any way. The angel came to minister to him, even offering him food and water. Then God came to Elijah and simply asked, "What are you doing here?" (V.9). There was no challenge or reprimand. But Elijah felt compelled to offer a defense of his actions. He was saying, "Look at me! Look at all I have done!"

1) Elijah said "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty." (19:10)
The truth is, he had been very zealous. He was preaching, confronting the king, taking on 450 false prophets. Elijah was very busy! And he felt very alone.

2) Next Elijah complained, "I am the only one left." (19:10)
When we are down in life, all we can see is our work, our good intentions, our contributions, our sacrifices. We don’t see what other people are doing and appreciate their good work. Everything is about us.

Elijah just knew he was the only faithful one left. I’m not sure if he meant he was the only faithful prophet, or the only faithful Israelite, but he was certain he stood all alone. But he was wrong. In chapter 18 of 1 Kings Elijah talked with Obadiah, another faithful prophet, who was hiding 100 faithful prophets in caves. Now, in his fear, exhaustion and self-obsession, Elijah has forgotten Obadiah and the 100.

Woe is me and Look at me. Two attitudes that are self-defeating. They do not promote faithfulness or healthy community. They are attitudes of self-pity and self-concern. And they derail us.

But God wouldn’t let Elijah remain in this state. One thing I love about this story is that God uses a flawed man to do his work. I like this story because it shows that God can use even me. God can use all of us! Are we imperfect? Flawed? Do we sometimes feel sorry for ourselves? Feel like we are alone? Feel like no one cares? Wonder how long we can go on?

Good news! That’s ok! That doesn’t mean God has given up on you. There can still be a lot of wear on your tires and steam in your engine. You just need to reconnect to God and your brothers and sisters. You need to get back into the thick of things. Get involved. That is what God did with Elijah. He said, "Hold on, Buddy," and sent him back into battle.

Hold on, Buddy

God did several things to revitalize Elijah.

1) He made him take care of himself. He fed him and let him sleep.

2) God talked with him. "What are you doing here?" (19:9) God asked. It was a question. God didn’t start out pushing Elijah. He conversed with him.

Elijah then went into his "Woe is me" mode again. "O Lord, it’s hard down here! I’ve done what’s right. I’ve been zealous for you. Plus, I’m the only faithful one you’ve got! But I’m tired!" Part of what he said was right; part was wrong. But God let him talk.

When you are down, down, down, are you tempted to withdraw from God and people? God calls us out of ourselves and says, "Talk to me. Pray."

3) God made his presence known. In this story, he made himself known in a whisper (19:12,13).
In our lives, he may makes himself known through assurance in prayer, through the counsel of a friend, through a scripture.

4 God gave Elijah an assignment. He put him to work. Elijah was to go anoint a couple of future kings (19:15-16).
When you are down, do something!

5) Finally, God said, "Remember, you are not alone. I have seven thousand in Israel who have not bowed the knee to Baal." (19:18).

What has this got to do with us?

Elijah placed himself at the center of the universe and at the center of God’s work. His attitude was "I am." Sorry, but "I am" is God’s role. God is always at the center.

Because of his self-absorbed attitude Elijah was unable to process disappointment and fear. He viewed everything from his perspective and not God’s. His question was not, "Is God doing good work here," but "Am I doing good work here?"

Elijah’s negative spirit, his depression, grew out of his self-centeredness. And here is the good news - God still worked with Elijah.

Listen, if God waited for perfect people to do his work, nothing would get done! God works with the down and out!
- with a self-absorbed and depressed prophet in 1 Kings
- with a five-time divorcee in John 4
- with a persecutor of the church in Acts
- with immature and unspiritual apostles in the gospels.
God puts his treasure in clay jars, easily broken pots. And we are those pots.

I’m thankful that ministry is for failures. Ministry is for people who look in the mirror and say, "I don’t have much to offer. Thank goodness God can use me as I am."

Today God asks us the question he asked of Elijah, "What are you doing here?"

What are we going to say?

Warren Baldwin Oct. 4, 2009

Respecting Parents

RESPECTING PARENTS

"Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old" Proverbs 23:22

It disturbs me to hear a child yell at his parents, call them names, tell them to "shut up," and even slap them. But I do see and hear these things on occasion.

Parents who tolerate this kind of disrespectful behavior from their children are not only hurting the children, they are unraveling the fabric of their family and all of society. Churches, schools, the work place and even society at large must practice respect for one another and for the leaders within these communities if they are going to function in a way that is healthy and beneficial for the members. Training for that kind of respect begins at home, and where it is taught by the parents and appropriated by the children. Children must be taught to honor mom and dad.

Why should children be respectful toward their parents? I can think of at least three reasons. One, the parents have earned it. The Sage says, "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old" (Proverbs 23:22). This verse has a parallel structure where the second part builds on the first. Part one emphasizes listening to your father who gave you life, and part two emphasizes loving your mother when she is old. The second part builds upon the first, meaning that mom deserves respect because she, too, gave you life. You wouldn’t have a life if it wasn’t for the love of your mother and father who birthed you.

The phrase "do not despise your mother" has an interesting parallel to Genesis 25:34 where it says that "Esau despised his birthright." That doesn’t necessarily man that he hated it, but that he didn’t regard it with proper honor. Because he didn’t honor his birthright he traded it for a measly bowl of beans. What a tragic loss. The injunction to not despise our mother doesn’t mean we are showing her proper honor if we don’t hate her; it means we should not ignore her needs or treat lightly her position as the exalted matriarch of the family.

Mothers and fathers spend years investing their time, energy and love into the lives of their children. The Bible honors that great work and says the children should as well. The command to respect parents is one of the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20:12; Lev. 19:3).

Secondly, children need to honor their parents because it is right. Respect is like the concrete in a wall. Concrete is hard and firm so it can uphold the building. Remove the firmness from the concrete and the walls will collapse, crushing everyone inside the structure.
In the same way, remove respect from a child’s relationship with his parents and the walls of the family will collapse. Children will not listen to and obey their parents if they don’t respect them. If they don’t listen to their parents then their leading counsel becomes the immature reasoning of their own minds or that of their friends. It is only through giving their ears and hearts to their parents that children learn wisdom and proper behavior and can hope for a meaningful and prosperous life (Prov. 3:1-2).

Finally, children need to honor their parents because it is biblical. "Honor your father and your mother" (Ex. 20:12). God emphasizes the importance of respecting parents when he ties it to his own personality. After saying in Lev. 19:3 that "Each of you must respect his mother and father" he adds "I am the Lord your God." There shouldn’t be any doubt about how seriously God regards this command! In fact, in ancient Israel a son who showed flagrant disrespect for his parents could be stoned.

Parents, our children will not naturally or automatically show us respect. They will not show politeness in speech nor decorum in behavior unless we teach them to. Their natural inclination will be to do their own thing, disobey us, talk back, yell and scream, throw a temper tantrum, even slap us. Many parents laugh when their children do these things. Perhaps they are embarrassed when it is done in front of others. Or, the parents may even think it is cute when coming from a tiny child. "Do you see how mad he is?" and then they laugh. But I tell you, if we tolerate that behavior, we are teaching our own little kids that they do not need to respect us. We are teaching them that our ideas, our values and our rules as the parents do not matter, and they can do whatever they want to. That might mean jumping on the sofa and making a face at mom at age 4; and it might mean shoplifting, drinking, and robbing from the neighbors when they are 14. Remember the stern warning from Proverbs that "a child left to himself (that is, untrained and undisciplined) disgraces his mother" (Prov. 29:15).

Do your children an immense favor! Teach them to respect you. Respecting you means they listen to and obey you in everything. It also means they don’t talk back to you or speak in fresh tones. Further, practice corrective discipline when they disobey, even when they are very young. If they are old enough to break the rules, they are old enough to have obedience enforced.

Respect will continue to be an issue in families even as children grow up and leave home. But if we can at least build a healthy base when they are 18 months to 3 years old, it makes the teenage years a whole lot more enjoyable!

Warren Baldwin

Foreword to Roaring Lions

FOREWORD TO
Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems from Proverbs

Proverbs are short, pithy sayings that arrest our interest and demand our attention. They are catchy and memorable, making them easy to transport to new situations. Proverbs can spark lively conversation or intense debate.

Proverbs are all around us, even in the secular world. "If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again." "A dollar saved is a dollar earned." "The early bird gets the worm." Such witticisms take years of accumulated wisdom and experience and condense them into short, catchy sayings. These sayings can be memorized and applied to future settings that reflect similar elements. Such truisms become the truth and guiding lights of our lives. Thomas Long, author of Preaching and the Literary Forms of the Bible writes, "The question is not, will people live by proverbs, but what kind of proverbs will they cherish?" (p.55)

Like the secular sayings, the biblical proverbs reflect wisdom and experience, but they offer the added ingredient of divine influence and personality. One purpose of Proverbs is to promote a relationship with God. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." (3:5) The real aim of Proverbs is not to equip us with witty sayings to help us function more professionally in the world; it is to promote godly character so that we can enjoy virtuous relationships with God and people.

Proverbs function by stirring our imagination. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." (27:6) Is this saying true? Our minds rush to situations in life where a friend hurt our feelings by telling us an uncomfortable truth about ourselves. After the pain of the unwelcome comments faded, we were able to assess their truthfulness and possibly conclude, "My friend was right. I was out of line. I need to conduct myself with more discipline and dignity in the future." Then, our minds may rush to compliments and flattery an "enemy" showered upon us, only to realize later their emptiness. They were not intended to encourage us but to secure some selfish aim for the one offering the praise.

A proverb stirs our imagination by drawing our minds backwards to situations that reflect the meaning of the saying. Our own experience in life confirms its truthfulness. Secondly, a proverb pushes our thinking forward to future situations, arming us with insight into appropriate thinking and behavior. (Long, 57)

Here is an example of what I mean. Proverbs 15:17 says, "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred." This proverb pushes my mind back to the Vermont farmhouse where I grew up. Our kitchen was small and square shaped and wouldn’t accommodate a typical dining room table. So, we used a square-shaped picnic table complete with wooden benches and the occasional splinter. No one minded, not even company. Our home was the gathering spot for family activities and dinner here was the central event of the day. Around the family picnic table my siblings and I learned about history, our family roots, sex and marriage, philosophy of life, and even how to treat a little sister. "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love ..."

This proverb also pushes my mind back to my college days. At a Friday night devotional I saw a young lady I had known casually for several years. I asked her if she’d like to grab something to eat. In Henderson, TN, there wasn’t much available at 10:30 p.m. except a truck stop. Not only were the dining options limited, but my money was as well. We shared an order of Ore Ida Tater Tots and soft drinks. It was simple, relaxing and fun. The young lady seemed happy and accepted what little I was able to provide. I thought, "She is a gem." We have been eating meals together for twenty-seven years now. "Better a meal of Ore Ida Tator Tots where there is love..."

When my family traveled to Cody, WY, to interview with a church, I wanted to eat elk meat. A gentleman and his wife prepared a wonderful meal for us, featuring Wyoming elk. We loved not only the delicious food but also the friendly reception we received and the warm conversation around the table. We moved to Cody and this kind couple prepared many more meals for us. "Better a meal of elk with Marion and Violet where love is ...."

Many more special meals from the past flood my mind. Bill and Shirley shared their table with me when I was interviewing in Ulysses, KS. A river bank was transformed into a kitchen when George, Ruby and their clan invited my family to frequent fish fries in Florida. My future in-laws, Jim and Thelma, treated me as an honored guest at their table when I called on their daughter and loaded me up with leftovers for my return to graduate school. My fellow members at the church in Ulysses make our Wednesday meals of pancakes and sausages or ham and beans a feast of friendship and fellowship. "Better a meal of hot dogs where there is love ..."

Sometimes these meals of the past were sumptuous feasts of fine food. Sometimes they were a simple array of common fare. But always they were celebrations of friendship with conversation that bound our hearts together in love. These meals of the past prepare me for future experiences of sharing the table with treasured family and friends. Proverbs 15:17 is right.

The proverbs stir our imagination. In the following pages I share with you how individual proverbs stirred my thinking, and I hope they do the same for you.

Warren Baldwin

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