Two Problems with Forgiveness

Two Problems With Forgiveness
Micah 7:18-20

Read Micah 3:1-5. Where is God? How do we know he is there, especially when evil things are going on as described in Micah 3?

Micah 3 affirms that the way you treat others has removed you from God. If you treat others abusively, you can call God, but will get a busy signal.
V.1 - You will know justice (but not in a way they will like!)
V. 2- You hate the good and love the evil. You tear the skin from off my people
V.3 - You eat the flesh of my people; break their bones. You chop them up like meat in a pot, like flesh in a cauldron

Micah is describing cannibalism. Are they literally cannibals? Probably not. This is likely a reference to how they are abusing people, usually financially. Micah 2:9 says they drive women from their homes; deprive children of their inheritance. We use the term "skinning" people in reference to financial abuse.

But in ch.4 God doesn’t completely give up on people. This describes how life could be if people followed God. Ch.5 offers a prophecy of a king to be born in Bethlehem. Israel is called to be a good force in the world.

What does God expect of us?
Ch. 6 - Summons to court. God goes to court with Israel to see who is right. Israel is found guilty. Ch. 7 - Lament. Micah is waiting on the Lord. And the people need forgiveness.

Two fundamental problems with forgiveness.
1) We confuse our inability to forgive with God’s ability to forgive.
2) We sometimes don’t feel forgiven because we don’t feel good enough to be forgiven.
Feeling forgiven is a major issue in forgiveness.

(Stories of hurt and forgiveness.)

Micah 3:1-2 - If anybody should be forgiven, it is certainly not these people! These people are like cannibals. That is how they are described. But God is bigger then any of our sins. And this chapter is not the last word in Micah.

Micah 7:18b - God delights in being merciful; forgiving. This is a great verse to memorize - God does "not stay angry forever but delights to show mercy."

Seven affirmations about forgiveness: Micah 7:18-20
1) God pardons us. 7:18b
Pardon means "to lift off." God lifts off our sin.

Overview of Leviticus
1] Chs. 1-15 - about worship (sacrifices)
2] Chs. 17-27 (the end) - how to live after forgiven.
3] Ch. 16 - Other chapters revolve around this one.

Ch. 16 is about the Day of Atonement.
Atonement is about forgiveness. Ch.16 is about how their sins are forgiven. Two goats are brought forward. One is sacrificed. Then the sins of the people are place on the other goad. The sins of people are taken off - lifted off - and put on back of the goat. The goat is then taken to the wilderness. V.20-22

2) God forgiveness us. 7:18b
Forgiveness means he passes over transgressions. Remember the plagues on Egypt. Pharaoh’s heart was hard. The most severe plague was death. Blood placed on door post - death passed over. Same terms.

3) God does not stay angry forever. 7:18c
Exodus 32:27-28 - example of the wrath of God. He kills the Israelites with the sword for making and worshiping golden calf. About 3,000 killed.

Exodus 34:6 - the love of God. "The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin." Then, 7b reminds us that God will punish the disobedient and unrepentant. 34:6 - "Slow to anger." Literally translated as "Does not have long nose." Something concrete to explain an abstract concept. The Hebrews believed anger originated in the nose.

4) God delights in showing mercy. 7:18c
Word for mercy is chesed. Means steadfast love (ESV); mercy (NIV). Good translation - loyal.

In Hebrew this word is void of emotion. Has nothing to do with how we feel. How we feel does not matter; not a part of chesed. Chesed is an act of the will. A decision to be with someone. It is an act of God’s will to be loyal to his people; to forgive them.

5) He has compassion on us. 7:19a
Compassion is gentleness. Another concrete word - compassion refers to a woman’s womb. The verb means, "show compassion." The imagery in Hebrew - the way a woman feels about her unborn baby in her womb is how God feels for us.

6) He treads our sins underfoot. 7:19b
It means he stamps sin underneath him.
Ancient practice - soldiers would walk on the corpses of those they killed. Showed complete triumph over their enemies. That is what God does to our sin. He destroys it; stomps on it.

7) God throws our sin into the depths of the sea. 7:19c
Exodus 14 - God parted the Red Sea. When Egyptians tried to cross, were drowned in the depths of the sea. God takes our sins to the deepest part of the ocean and drowns them there.

Forgiveness

Here are seven positive affirmations about how God handles sin in the one who is penitent. Seven is a complete number. Means God has done everything to remove our sin from us.

Remember the two fundamental problems with forgiveness.
1) We confuse our inability to forgive with God’s ability to forgive.
2) We sometimes don’t feel forgiven because we don’t feel good enough to be forgiven.
Feeling forgiven is a major issue in forgiveness.

But, we must also remember ...
God forgives, not because we are good enough, but because he is good enough.
1) God’s forgiveness involves forgetting.
2) God’s forgiveness involves grace. God is good enough.

If you are struggling with feeling forgiven, God says, "What you can’t forget I can’t remember. What you are not good enough to do, I am."

What freedom from guilt and shame God gives us!

Note: Dr. Harold Shank of OC presented this lesson at the Kansas Men’s Retreat in September, 2010. These are his notes that I took, with some of my thoughts added in. It was an excellent lesson that I wanted to share with you.

Warren Baldwin

LIVING BIBLICALLY

LIVING BIBLICALLY

A couple of years ago A. J. Jacobs set a commendable goal: he was going to dedicate an entire year to live biblically.

A. J. is Jewish and was raised as a secular Jew. So, he didn’t know many of the stories, the deep principles or the ethics of the Bible. He was going to study them and live them as best he could for a year.

Trying to following biblical custom A. J. wore white clothes and didn’t cut his beard. His appearance garnered quite a bit of attention.

His experiment required some significant behavioral changes for him. A. J. said he was particularly susceptible to gossip, lying and coveting, so addressing these issues in his life was a challenge.

Forgiveness was a big issue, too. In an interview with Leadership (Winter, 2008, p.17) magazine A. J. said, "Paul says that love does not keep score. I disobeyed this literally because, before my year, I had been keeping score of my wife’s arguments with me. Any time I would win an argument or she would make a mistake, I’d always jot those down ... in a little file so that I could remember them. The Bible taught me to get rid of that. I showed my wife the list, and she just laughed at me. Her response was amusement mixed with pity that I would even need to keep such a list."

A. J. was a workaholic, so the biblical teaching on Sabbath rest was a challenge for him, too. "The Sabbath is a great thing," he said, "because the Bible is saying you can’t work. You can’t check e-mail. You have to spend the day with your family. It’s a real smell-the-roses type of day. I found it to be a day for joy, for just really reconnecting with my life and realizing that work is not everything. I loved it, but it was a huge struggle."

A big lesson A. J. learned with his experiment is how much he sinned. He said, "That was a little disturbing, but once you start to pay attention to the amount that you lie and gossip and covet and even steal - I was taken aback and that was a real eye-opener. I don’t steal cars, but even something like taking three straws at Starbucks when you only need one, that could be considered stealing. I became very aware of taking other people’s things without asking."

This man’s story impressed me. He was not religious before undertaking this experiment. In fact, he says he started out as an agnostic, and still isn’t totally convinced of the existence of God. But, he had periods when he believed, and still holds value in the idea of the sacred. Here is what he said, "I believe there is something very important about the idea of sacredness: prayer can be sacred, the Sabbath can be sacred, family is sacred, rituals are sacred. That was a huge change in perspective for me." Sounds like A. J. is moving toward belief.

He hasn’t converted to Christianity yet, but A. J. did say, "I never did make the leap of faith to accept Jesus as my Savior. As I read the New Testament, I more tried to live by his ethical teachings, which did change my life."

I am impressed that this man who grew up in a secular environment and was an agnostic dedicated a year to living consciously, purposely and intensely as a man of God. He disciplined his thoughts, he managed his mouth, and he scrutinized his intentions in accord with the Bible. If it pricked his conscience to take more than one straw because it didn’t seem totally honest, he would only take one. And he said the experience changed his life.

For those of us who do profess Christ, would it change our lives to live consciously, purposely and intensely as the people of God in every aspect of our lives?

Warren Baldwin

Process of Forgiving

PROCESS OF FORGIVING

Forgiveness is not something that happens automatically or easily. This is especially true if what you must forgive is something very personal and painful.

Colossians 3:12-13 says, "As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." The means by which we can be kind, gentle and forgiving is stated in v.14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

If this verse isn’t challenging enough, Jesus himself said, "If you do not forgive men their sins, our Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:15. One apostle listening to these words was a bit slow in getting the message of forgiveness. He later asked Jesus, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, by seventy-seven times" (or seventy times seven times). Matthew 18:21-22.

These verses provide some very direct, sharp teaching about forgiving people who have hurt us and thus people at whome we are angry. Forgive, Jesus said, and don’t even keep track of the number of times you do it. Forgive, Paul said, because God has given you the love required to do it."

I believe that. But I still believe that forgiveness is not always automatic or easy. If it was, the Bible wouldn’t say so much about how and why we must forgive. If forgiveness was automatic or easy we would just do it.

I think forgiveness is a process, a process that sometimes takes months, even years, if the offense against us is serious enough. If you have been slandered, abused, violently mistreated, forgiveness may be a long, long process. If a family member has been violently mistreated, forgiveness may be a life-long process. That is ok, so long as you keep working at it.

The first step in the process of forgiveness is feeling hurt. If you have been badly mistreated and are hurt, admit that hurt. Stuffing the feeling or ignoring it will not help you or the situation. Stuffed feelings are still there, pressed deeply into the heart and psyche, breeding ugly thoughts and revenge. Instead, honestly and openly admit, "I have been hurt." Your emotions may swing from just wanting to forget it to feeling numb to crying. That’s ok, own those feelings.

The second step is anger, even hate, if the offense is serious enough. During this phase we may feel anger, rage, and even a hunger for revenge. We may want to retaliate and hurt the person who hurt us with as much or more severity. We all know what the Bible says about hate. It says, "Don’t do it!" We know it is wrong to hate, so when we feel hate we tend to deny it. Don’t. Again, if we are feeling this emotion the proper response is not to stuff it deep inside, where it will smolder and erupt violently later on. The thing to do is diffuse it through acknowledging the presence of hate and confessing it.

After confessing our hate and hatred we can move on to the third step in the process of forgiving: healing. Healing means we have worked through the hurt and hate and we experience a lessening of the negative emotions. We can actually begin to pray for the one who hurt us. We can move from wishing him harm to wishing well for him.

Finally, we can begin again. Beginning again means we can enter into and enjoy relationship again. In many cases it means we can function again with the one who offended us. It means we can look objectively at the conflict situation and even take responsibility for our part in it. Beginning again is very, very refreshing. (Note: The above 4 points are from Lewis B. Smedes, "Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve").

How can we possibly work through the pain of hurt and hate to healing and beginning again? I’ll repeat Colossians 3:14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." God has blessed us with a loving and compassionate spirit. This is our power and ability to forgive.

John Patton has written: "Human forgiveness is not an act but a discovery that I am more like those who have hurt me than different from them; that I am capable of also hurting others very deeply. I am able to forgive when I discover that I am in no position to forgive ... at its heart is the recognition of my reception into the community of sinners - those affirmed by God as his children." ("Is Human Forgiveness Possible?", p.16).

This is a humbling statement: I am like those who hurt me. Haven’t I hurt others? Sure. I am part of a community of sinners. Can I claim to be without sin? No. I need to forgive others for the simple reason that I need others to forgive me.

How do we know when we have successfully navigated the steps of hurt, hate, healing and beginning again? One writer answered this by saying, "You know when you have forgiven when you can wish the other person well." (Managing the Congregation, p.372).

I am thankful to God for the forgiveness we have received from him. Rom. 6:8. I am also thankful that he has given us the means by which we can forgive others: his love.

Warren Baldwin
September 7, 2008