Wives Who Bless the Fountain

Wives Who Bless the Fountain

Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be your alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:16-18

While these verses speaks primarily to husbands, there are implications for wives as well. For example, even though a husband may be unfaithful, the wife doesn’t have to be. This passage acknowledges that if a husband doesn’t avail himself of the thirst quenching water he has at home (a satisfying sexual relationship with his wife), he may seek it elsewhere. When he does so, he leaves his wife emotionally starved and unsatisfied. Solomon acknowledges that some women in this situation may become springs that overflow in the streets; that is, they seek love and romance else where.

But, they don’t have to. They shouldn’t. Since Proverbs is addressed primarily to young men, most of the moral instructions are directed to male temptations: the lure of attractive women, voluptuous kisses and sensuous perfume (cf. Prov. 7:10-18). But Proverbs is concerned about developing wisdom and a moral consciousness in everyone, male and female. Proverbs warns against the wiles of the immoral woman who draws men from the moral path (chapters 2, 5,6,7) and who seeks pleasure in stolen water (a likely metaphor for immoral sexual behavior). But it also honors the moral woman for building a healthy home (14:1). Also, the Wise Wife of Proverbs 31 is extolled for the selfless attention she showers upon her husband and children, something she likely would not do if her energies were spent upon a secret lover.

Photo from Amy Free Photography

While Proverbs enjoins moral behavior for the male, it clearly assumes it for the female as well. So, if a husband is unfaithful, seeking sources of sensual refreshment from a woman other than his wife, that doesn’t mean the wife has to do the same. She can exercise her moral fiber and rededicate her efforts to do all she can to preserve her home.

A wife has tremendous power to nurture refreshment in the home to help prevent it from deteriorating to the point of either partner seeking affection elsewhere. She can use initiative and creativity to ensure that the springs and fountain of the home continually attract the attention of her husband.

Proverbs 7 presents us with a sexually aggressive married woman who, unfortunately, is unfaithful to her husband, and is directing her energy toward an unsuspecting young male visiting the big city. She spots the aimlessly wandering boy and accosts all of his senses with her feminine appeal. She wears alluring apparel (v.10), envelops him in a passionate embrace, kisses him energetically (v.13), speaks temptingly (v.14-18), and perfumes her private chamber (and likely herself, v.17). Everything she does inflames the young man’s mind and body! Yet, everything she does is so wrong because she is not married to this young man. Her drive and ambition is completely misdirected because such affection is meant for her husband.

Why the woman acts this way Proverbs doesn’t say. It just warns young men to avoid such volatile, moral situations. God gives men five senses to experience pleasure. When all five of them are under sensual attack at one time, it will be difficult for even the strongest, most centered of men to resist for long. The immediate response in a family-oriented man must be to just run!

But let’s look at Proverbs 7 from another perspective. What makes the woman of Proverbs 7 so dangerous to a man? The fact that she is offering what every male craves: a healthy, inviting, and energetic romantic encounter. And while the approach of the Proverbs 7 woman is so wrong when exercised outside of her marriage, it is so right when directed toward her husband.

Tell me, what man wouldn’t double time it home if he knew ready to embrace him was the love of his life acting out Proverbs 7 toward him!? Wives, the greatest weapon your husband has in his arsenal to ward off the overtures of the seductress is you. At least occasionally, show him the same level of excitement and interest that the immoral woman may have already tempted him with earlier in the day.

Jobs, demands of the home, and caring for energetic kids often leaves a wife and mom so exhausted she simply doesn’t have the strength to give an energetic and sensuous greeting to her husband. It’s unfair to expect her to. At least all of the time. There are years when the children are little when romance seems to take a back burner. While that is understandable and sometimes unavoidable, it is also very dangerous. The sizzle in a marriage may falter and die, but the need for love, acceptance, embrace, and sex does not. And if a husband and wife don’t find them in each other, they become easy pickings for any aggressor on the prowl. Don’t let exhaustion give room to a Proverbs 7 woman claiming what is yours. And, yes, while all the adultery chapters in Proverbs hold the man accountable for his moral offenses, even when he is under assault by an aggressive woman, a loving wife who is equally aggressive at home can do so much to assure the faithfulness of her man.

Wives, be the spark plug sometimes. Your romantic aggression means more to your husband than he will ever tell you, largely because men don’t like to talk about their feelings. But if you notice your husband smiling more, being kind and gracious in the home, telling you to go shopping while he watches the kids, and taking out the trash without being asked, you’ll know why. Your initiation of a sexual encounter will make your husband feel valued, proud (in a healthy sense), wanted, and deeply, deeply thankful to you. Conversely, never initiating can leave your guy feeling bruised in his self-esteem, unwanted, and hurt. Pride will keep him from saying, “I’m hurt,” so he will likely mask his bruise in anger, speaking and acting in ways that will hurt you back. Eventually, he may even begin to withdraw from you.

Men want to know that their wives do more than tolerate their advances; they want to know that they are wanted, sexual needs and all. You can communicate that by occasionally being the aggressor. If you don’t, the Proverbs 7 woman is ready to.

Don’t leave sensual allurement for your husband to women who shouldn’t be offering it. Your husband picked you because you were the most beautiful and alluring of women to him. He loved you. You are the one he wants to knock his socks off, and if you do, the Proverbs 7 woman doesn’t stand a chance.

Photo from Amy Free Photography

God wants a husband’s fountain to be blessed. That means you share in that blessing. You are that blessing! Keep the cistern cool and refreshing, and you guarantee where he will be coming to drink.

Warren Baldwin

How To Preach Proverbs: One Sentence Proverbs #1

How To Preach Proverbs
One Sentence Proverb Sermons

The one-sentence proverbs from chapters 10:1 to 29:27 offer challenges to preaching because of their brevity and succinctness. They seem to lack sufficient material from which to develop a full length lesson. But, there are a couple of approaches to these proverbs that make them valuable material for sermons.

Behind every proverb is a story, and the single-statement is simply a summation of a drama lived out in real life. For example, the Sage provides the background story to the numerous sluggard proverbs. In 24:30-34 he describes an experience of observing the unattended farm of the sluggard. Weeds had overtaken the crops and the protective wall was crumbling. The Sage wrote, “I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - and poverty will come on you like a bandit, and scarcity like an armed man” (vv.32-34). This brief statement of financial and social doom for the lazy man is a summation statement of a larger story that the wise man has studied with keen observation.

Photo Compliments of Jennifer Blair Photography

The approach of the Sage is to study the attitudes and behaviors of people and the eventual outcomes of their actions. He pays attention to cause and effect, noting how certain actions produce discernible results. He then summarizes what he observes in brief, tightly worded phrases that capture the essence of what he has observed and reflected upon. The result is a compact statement encapsulating a vital truth distilled from a much larger and complicated drama. The proverbs thus provoke our thinking, luring us into their story, and challenging us to imagine their application in the drama of our own lives.

There are several steps I have found helpful in using the sentence proverbs for sermons or classes. Even if we don’t know the original context for a proverbial statement, we can catch the essence of it and imagine situations where it would apply. The steps are as follows:

1) Read, reflect and pray upon a particular proverb. Look for key words or ideas in the sentence being repeated in surrounding verses. Does this verse fit into a larger theme? What seems to be the main idea? What does it say about attitudes, behavior or life?

2) Think of an Old Testament story that illustrates the truth of the proverb you are studying. Since there is a story behind every proverb, find one that seems to flesh out the truth of a particular proverb.

3) Think of a New Testament text or story that illustrates this truth as well. Many times a statement of Jesus or situation in his life complements the proverb.

4) Finally, think of a situation in your own life that exemplifies the message or statement you are studying. Ideally, you will spend enough time reflecting upon a proverb that you will think of situations in your own life where it applies. You may think of an instance in where you lived up to the expectation of the proverb, or you may think of a situation where you didn’t. In either case, your own life experience validates the truth you are studying.

Here is an example of how a sermon may be developed from a one-sentence proverb. I’ll use Proverbs 11:24: “One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.”

1) Study, reflection, prayer, and larger context.
This verse is part of a larger theme in the book about generosity and selfishness. Following verses discuss generosity, hoarding (selfishness), goodwill (the result of a generous spirit), and trusting in riches. This one verse opens up a wide array of possibilities for a sermon, and even at this early stage it is apparent that you will have to think about how to narrow the scope of the lesson.

2) An Old Testament story.
Possibilities could include Moses, who gave up life in the palace with its accompanying wealth to live among the impoverished Israelites. He did not give material things, but gave his very life to his people, and what he gained was not physical possessions or wealth, but much spiritual treasure (Exodus 2:11ff; Hebrews 11:24-28).

Think also of Boaz. He graciously allowed the less fortunate to glean his fields after the initial harvest (as the law stipulated). He gave freely and God blessed him not only with an abundant harvest, but with a wife, Ruth (Ruth).

These are two stories that exemplify the positive aspect of Proverbs 11:24. Negative examples can be considered, too. During David’s sojourn in the wilderness he requested aid from a local farmer. Instead of providing aid the farmer, Nabal, offered insults, and almost lost his life when David came after him in anger. Only the intervention of his wife Abigail spared him. But, even that was very short lived as he died shortly after. Nabal withheld and came to a fate worse than poverty (1 Samuel 25).

3) A New Testament story.
Numerous stories from Jesus’ life and ministry would fit here. Think of the two brothers fighting over an inheritance (Luke 12:13ff), the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19ff), and the rich young ruler (Luke 18:18ff). These stories all contain negative considerations of what it is to withhold blessings from others. Considered positively, think of Zacchaeus. As a tax collector Zacchaeus earned his living by overcharging the citizens in his territory. Tax collectors were thought of as little more than legitimized thieves. They were hated by the people because of their abuse of power and how they amassed their fortunes by taking from others. But after his encounter with Jesus, Zacchaeus opened up his tight fist and began to share, pledging to make proper recompense for overcharging, and giving half of his possessions to the poor. This man overcame his tendency to withhold and began to give freely. What did he receive for his change of heart? Jesus said of him, “Today salvation has come to this house ...”

4) Personal story.
I remember my parents offering help to people on numerous occasions: to motorists stranded in the country; to an injured friend; to neighbors needing help repairing their homes. Sometimes what was freely given was money; at other times it was time and labor. I have seen my parents gain from their generosity. It may not have been money, but appreciation and friendship.

In Proverbs, the man or woman who withholds is considered selfish and greedy. They do not receive God’s approval, and will not be blessed for their behavior. God likes the righteous spirit of generosity and mercy. These are the attitudes and dispositions we want to pass on to our children, and Proverbs 11:24 was written to help us do that.

Warren Baldwin

Tongues of Silver

TONGUES OF SILVER

The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. Proverbs 10:20

Miners, speculators, investors and even brides have always prized gold and silver. These precious metals are rare, usable and maintain their value. They are also beautiful when refined and used in art and jewelry.

Gold and silver have been cherished since ancient times. Kings and queens used them to decorate thrones and crowns. In the early days of our country, people sold everything they owned to venture out west, risking their wealth and their health to find strands of gold and silver in the earth. Today, young men and women symbolize their love for each other shiny bands of gold and other jewelry made of silver. Gold and silver is valuable and precious.

Photo compliments of Karli Bonnie Photography

Drawing on the beauty, usefulness and value of these commodities, Proverbs compares them to something else of great value: wisdom. In Proverbs 2:4 says we should look for wisdom as a miner looks for silver and treasure. The English word "look" really doesn’t convey the idea of how intense this search for silver, treasure and wisdom is supposed to be. The idea is that something is missing and you seek in earnest for it, striving with emotional intensity (Bruce Waltke, The Book of Proverbs, NICOT, 1:222).

I remember my aunt losing the diamond out of her wedding ring. I was just a kid and was confused by the frantic search all the adults in the family were making looking for that little stone. I asked my mom, "What’s the big deal? It’s just a little rock, right?" Sure! I learned what intensity was that weekend! I have a friend who lost his wedding ring, and years later his wife is still angry at him for it. There is a lot of emotion tied in him those little emblems of gold, silver and precious stone. We feel deep loss if they go missing. That, the Sage says, is what we ought to feel in our search for wisdom. Earnestness. Intensity. Loss if we don’t find it.

With this discussion in mind, think of Proverbs 10:20 again: The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.

This verse appears in the midst of an extended discussion about wise and foolish tongues. Wise speech comes from the mouth of the righteous and is a fountain of life (10:11). While a fool is busy chattering away a wise man is busy storing up knowledge (10:14). The wise know how to hold their tongues, not speaking when it is inappropriate and not speaking to much (10:19). When the wise man does speak his words are worth listening to. The righteous speak words that are wise and fit the occasion (10:31,32), so their speech brings nourishment (10:21).

Foolish speech emanates from a heart that is not devoted to acquiring wisdom. The one who speaks foolishly stirs up hatred and violence against others and ultimately against himself (10:11) One way a foolish person stirs up hatred is in the lies he tells and the slander he spreads (10:18). The foolish mouth also stirs up anger because it simply talks too much and has no value or substance. Two times the Sage says "a chattering fool comes to ruin" (10:9,10). The fool speaks of things that are wicked and disgusting (10:31,32).

In the middle of this discussion is the comment about the tongue of the righteous being choice silver. The imagery of rarity, usefulness and value are applied to the speech of the righteous person. The speech of the wise is rare because there is not enough of it. It is useful because it encourages and transforms lives. It maintains its value because it imparts life. Such speech is choice silver, having been refined to produce purity. "The dross of evil intentions and effects" has been removed from the wise man's heart and thus his mouth (Waltke, 1:471), revealing one more important reason wise speech is so critically important. It honors God's social order by promoting wholesome life for individuals and the community.

The power of wholesome words to uphold God's order and impart life can be heard in the words of Jesus, "Neither do I condemn you, go now and leave your life of sin" (John 8:11). Taken to heart, those words could perform to heal the shame of this woman and restore refreshment to her life. May our words do the same.

Warren Baldwin

Crafting Words

Crafting Words

The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse. Proverbs 10:32

The righteous know what is fitting because they know three important things: the heart of God, the heart of others, and their own hearts.

"The lips of the righteous know what is fitting" refers to speech. Fitting speech refers to words that are spoken at the right time to the right people in the right circumstances. Someone who handles words this appropriately are artists and craftsmen.

My girls were excited when I arrived at home with a bunk bed kit for their room. But excitement turned to disappointment when several re-cut pieces didn’t fit and pre-drilled holes for the screws didn’t line up. Someone in the factory was careless with their measurements, cutting and drilling.

It is too easy for our speech to be as haphazard and ill-fitting as the pieces of the bunk bed. For the wicked, speech is perverse, meaning it violates moral and societal standards. Perverse means to "turn upside down." It is immoral, offensive, and inappropriate. Children exposed to this kind of speech grow up without any internal apparatus for tuning in to spiritual thoughts or behavior.

But inappropriate speech doesn’t just emanate from those with impure and wicked hearts, nor is it limited to that which is immoral or offensive. Inappropriate speech is that which fails to take into account people’s feelings and situations.

One year after losing their oldest son, friends of ours were asked by a lady at church, "Are you still grieving for him? It’s been a year." She has no idea how she cut the heart of our friends. It wasn’t wickedness that prompted her cruel comment; it was simply an unsympathetic and undiscerning heart. Because she didn’t know the heart of God, the heart of her friends, or even her own heart, she spoke words that tore the spirit.

The heart of God is compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, loving and faithful (Exodus 34:6). To know his heart is to walk in his kindness, showing compassion to the hurt and suffering. Someone attuned to the heart of God would never so callously dismiss the constant ache felt by grieving parents. God knows the pain of losing a son.

Secondly, to know the heart of another person is to place ourselves in the drama of their lives and feel, as best we can imagine, the joys and hurts they experience. Though our children may be alive and healthy, can we imagine what it would be like to visit our own child in the cancer ward? Can we stretch to think what it must be like to make the funeral arrangements for our son or daughter? Such thoughts are not pleasant, but neither are they morbid if the focus of such thoughts is to enter into another’s suffering and experience life with them.

Finally, to be able to speak words that are fitting, we must know our own hearts. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"(Jeremiah 17:9). We all have an amazing capacity for thoughts, speech and behavior that is inconsiderate, selfish, and even evil. We can become so absorbed in our own lives that we become blind or insensitive to the circumstances of others. For those of us who have never experienced loss, grieving for a year may seem like sufficient time to calm the ache of a heart. But have we really put ourselves in the place of those parents who still see the empty chair at dinner time?

It takes a craftsman who knows wood to fashion furniture so that the pieces fit and are aesthetically pleasing. Likewise, it takes a craftsman who knows hearts to fashion words so that they fit the setting, offering peace, comfort or even rebuke, as the situation may demand. To become a craftsmen of words, studying hearts, beginning with the heart that yearns to make us righteous: God’s.

Warren Baldwin

Build or Destroy

BUILD OR DESTROY

Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed. Proverbs 11:11

Some personalities are so dynamic people are irresistibly drawn to them. Salesmen sell cars, politicians draw votes, and preachers win converts often on the power of their persona. Most of us may not possess such irresistible drawing power, but we all do have a level of influence that may far exceed even our own perception. Proverbs 11:11 address that issue.

The effect of our character, our personal power, builds or destroys communities. "Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted." The blessing of the upright is likely the power of their pure character mediated through their speech. Verses 9 through 14 all address the effect of speech. The righteous bless with their speech while the wicked destroy with theirs.

The blessing of righteous speech is to exalt a city. To exalt means "build up." A city is built up by the construction of houses for people to live in and, in ancient times, by protective walls around the city. In such an environment people can thrive in security and safety.

The speech of the wise man does the same thing for a city. With his speech the wise man teaches firm principles of honorable living, like honesty, kindness and hard work. More than just talking about principles, his life models them. The wise man encourages people within his charge to live up to higher standards, and he expresses appreciation for them when they do. His is also able to offer an appropriate rebuke when necessary, but always with a view toward building a life, not discouraging one. After years of exposure to the speech and life of the wise man, the city, be it a business office, church or home, is taught and enabled to live better because of him.

But the mouth of the wicked destroys. While verses 9 through 14 address speech, most of it is about the speech of the wicked man. He derides his neighbor and betrays a confidence. Years of his influence destroys relationship and people (v.9).

The speech of the wicked man has the following affect on people. One, he debases them, usually in front of other people. He may minimize their accomplishments in a subtle way by simply saying, "Oh wow," with a mocking grin or more overtly by comparing their success with others who have done more. "Well, I know people who have done even better and at a younger age." He gossips about others, reducing the esteem other people have for them (v.9). The affect is to leave the person feeling less than what he should for his accomplishment, and creating embarrassment for him by doing it in front of others.

Secondly, the wicked man discourages others with his speech. Consistent debasement through putdowns, mockery and belittling comments kills initiative in the victim’s heart. Fear crowds out incentive to try; failure confirms the expectation of the wicked man. Children raised in such an environment may reason it is worthless to ever attempt anything worthwhile in life, or they may spend their life in vain pursuit of trying ever harder to achieve an accomplishment that will win the wicked man’s approval, all so they can feel worthwhile.

Finally, as a result of the debasement and discouragement, the wicked man destroys those who fall under his influence. People feel ashamed and unworthy of doing well. They give up worthy aspirations, become embittered and angry, and can become wicked themselves, destroying the people they influence just as they were destroyed.

Having a forceful personality helps in selling cars, drawing votes, and winning converts. But such dynamic charisma is really not needed to effect much good. The quiet, consistent voice of a righteous man who teaches wisdom, expresses appreciation, encourages good work, and gives positive recognition for accomplishment is building a city. He is exalting the staff in his office, the members of his church, and the children and spouse in his family. The foundation of his city is firm, the walls are strong, and the inhabitants of his dwelling are free and secure to live, love, even fail, because they know they have room to try again. Any city is blessed by such a man.

Warren Baldwin

An Apt Word

AN APT WORD

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Proverbs 25:11

Knowing what to speak, to whom to speak and when to speak is a function of godly wisdom. "It is only fools who speak all the time, without regard for the circumstance ... The wisdom formula is to speak the right word to the right person at the right time" (Longman, 453).

A well-timed word has several positive attributes to it. One, it reaffirms our value. A teenager cut from the basketball team, a husband and father terminated from his job, a wife reeling from an unsought-for divorce all suffer from devastating hits to their lives and psyches, pain felt very deeply within their being. A corollary to such blows is that we question our own worth or value. We have, after all, just been rejected by a team, business and relationship from which we drew a significant sense of our own identity. We may wonder if we will ever find another place or person to belong to. A well-timed word at this juncture can rescue us from swimming in the sea of self-doubt and reaffirm that we are people of worth.

Two, an apt word refocuses our vision. Lingering in the shadow of our damaged self-worth is blurred vision. The future looks foggy at best, and any vision we may have left is bleak, even ominous and threatening. It is natural that from the humiliating defeats and emotionally disturbing setbacks would come reticence to face the future. What lies ahead? If I have failed now, what prospects do I have for better results in the future? If I have been rejected, can genuine love ever find me again? A timely word to such a person is one that considers their circumstances, acknowledges the pain and uncertainty choking their heart, and offers even the slightest vision that the future can be faced.

Three, an appropriate word is one that rekindles hope. The future is very uninviting when it seems to offer only prospects of continued gloom and doom. Living with the fear of never belonging again, lacking financial resources or having no one to bond intimately with is gloomy. But that well-timed word, if embedded and nurtured in the heart of the sufferer, can eventually sprout and grow, offering vision and hope of a brighter future that we can participate in.

Finally, a well-timed word can even deliver necessary rebuke. To rebuke someone is to expose them to the truth of their situation, their attitude or behavior, and the appropriate response they need to make. Rebuke is usually appropriate for someone who persists in inappropriate or dangerous behavior. Rebuke may not apply initially to someone struggling with situations of rejection and hurt as I descried above, but, there may come a time when even they need a gentle nudge to open their eyes. "Ok, you lost your job, I’m very sorry. But you are not likely to find another job by watching tv all day, seven days a week. It’s time to pull yourself together and get back out there." It may seem out of place discussing rebuke after describing an apt reply as one that reaffirms value, refocuses vision and rekindles hope. But, an apt reply isn’t limited to situations of encouraging the broken-hearted; it can also apply to those pursuing paths that can render them hard-hearted. (For more discussion of an apt reply functioning as rebuke, see the essay "Judicial Decisions).

The finesse of Jesus’ response to the woman entrapped in sin demonstrates the power of the apt reply. Even if she didn’t know the law the woman knew the Pharisees initially advocated stoning her. That is quite a blow to one’s self-composure and image! Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you." But he didn’t withhold rebuke. "Leave your life of sin," he said next. He acknowledged her sin and told her to abandon it, choosing instead to live morally and spiritually. With this gentle rebuke and freedom from condemnation, the woman’s value was affirmed and was she free to envision a future of hope and second chances (John 8:1-11).

An apt word delivered to a hurting soul is "a masterpiece of human art" (Bland, 225), comparable to richly designed apples of gold in settings of silver. The beauty of both enrich our lives and testify to the wisdom and skill of the master artisan who crafted them.

Warren Baldwin

Strife

STRIFE

Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. Proverbs 26:20-21

A lightening strike, a dropped cigarette or a campfire not properly extinguished can smolder for days, finally igniting a few dry leaves culminating in a forest fire that can burn for weeks, even months. Trees and homes miles away from the spot where the fire began can be torched in minutes from the inferno unleashed by that original smoldering ember. Under the right conditions, forest fires can become impossible for even multiple teams of fire fighters to put out. It may take the arrival of fall snows to finally extinguish the blaze. Or, as the sage says, a fire may not play out until it is deprived of a substance to burn. There is a three-step progression in the scenario I have just presented: a smoldering ember, dry kindling, and finally, a raging fire.

A similar three-step progression is present in these two verses in Proverbs. First, there is the smoldering ember, a quarrel between two people. Then there is the dry kindling to feed that ember and give it greater life, gossip. Gossip is the spreading of tales by the participants in the quarrel. With enough time and gossip the third step is realized, strife. The quarrelsome man who can’t or won’t keep his discontent or disagreement contained, but must spread it through the kindling of gossip, fuels the fire until it becomes a bitter conflict involving numerous parties. Strife, or discord, is one of the acts of the sinful nature (Galatians 5:20), and it can burn out of control, scorching and burning people miles away from the original smoldering ember.

A quarrel is simply a verbal battle between two people. There is usually some degree of heat and flame of emotions in the verbal feud, but in time quarrels usually die down.

Like a fire, though, quarrels can be fed highly combustible material. For a fire it is dry wood; for a quarrel it is gossip. Gossip in this verse also means whisper in Hebrew. The idea is that one is going around on the sly whispering damaging things against someone else’s character and position. Should one or more of the participants in the quarrel take their grievances to others, not for wise counsel on how to handle the situation but rather to whisper against and slander the other party, then more people are dragged into the fray. Soon five, six, even ten or more people may be agitated and riled up against each other, and they may not even know why!

I have seen situations of two people frothing in anger against each other over what other parties in the quarrel had told them. These guys were not original participants, and didn’t even know all the details of the initial argument. They were just dragged in and began burning like dry timber and they didn’t even know why. Situations like this can erupt at work and church, burning with a fury that can last for weeks. It may not die out until everyone involved is literally exhausted and singed from the heat of the verbal and emotional blaze.

After once such inferno I asked a participant in that holocaust, "What happened? What was going on to create such a blaze where people were fighting and seemed to hate each other?" She said, "I don’t know. Everyone was just so angry and excited and saying things that were so mean. I don’t know how it started and why it went on for so long. But it was very ugly and unnecessary."

It started as a disagreement between two people that became a quarrel. The quarrel was not allowed to die down but was fed with the kindling of gossip and slander, causing it to burn hotter and wider. Soon, a dozen people were sucked into the blaze of bitter conflict, angry, hot, and ready to do battle on a larger scale. And no one really knew why.

Quarrels, gossip and strife are the external manifestations of a deeper issue in the heart of the one engaged in this unholy activities. The inner issue is and evil and malicious spirit. The evil spirit of one who creates discord and contention among other people is discussed in the next several verses, where the Sage says, "A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit" (Prov. 26:24). Verse 26 says his wickedness will be eventually become known.

Families, churches, businesses and community programs can be devastated in the incineration caused by the slanderer. To protect yourself and those around you, simply do not engage this man or woman. Only by joint refusal to participate in the ungodly triad of quarrels, gossip and strife can we starve the fire of fuel and save our relationships.

Warren Baldwin

Silence in the Face of Danger

SILENCE IN THE FACE OF DANGER

If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength! Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done? Proverbs 24:10-12

Kitty Genovese was returning home from work in Queens, New York at 3:20 a.m. While walking to the door of her apartment building she noticed a man at the other end of the parking lot, so she turned away. The man came after Kitty and attacked her with a knife. Kitty, age, 28, cried out, "Oh, my God, he stabbed me. Please help me! Please help me!" Her screams woke people up in the surrounding apartments. Lights came on, windows opened, and one man even yelled, "Let that girl alone!"

The assailant left and the windows closed and lights went out. But then the attacker returned and stabbed Kitty again. When she screamed, "I’m dying! I’m dying!" the lights came back on and the assailant left the scene. Kitty managed to make it into her apartment building where she collapsed on the floor at the foot of her stairs. Yet again the assailant returned, and this time he succeeded in killing the young woman.

There were three separate attacks Kitty Genovese over a thirty-five minute period. Scores of neighbors heard her screams and at least thirty actually witnessed one of the attacks. Yet other than one man yelling at the murderer during the first assault, not one witness intervened against the attacker, came to her aid, or even called the police. Only after the third attack were police summoned, and when they arrived Kitty had already died.

"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength! Rescue those being led away to death; hold back, or defend, those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, ‘But we knew nothing about this,’ does not he who weighs the heart perceive your denial?"

In commenting on the evil perpetrated against Kitty Genovese, Cornelius Plantinga says, "To shut one’s eyes to an injustice, to look the other way, to pretend ignorance of evil - to do these things is to connive. We generally think of connivance as a case of active conspiracy, but it needn’t be and often isn’t." (Not the Way it is Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin, p.182-84). Abstaining from actively harming others doesn’t mean we are necessarily free from guilt in any injury they receive. We implicate ourselves by our refusal to come to their aid, to defend them and, at the least, to speak out in their behalf.

When asked why they didn’t help the screaming woman below their apartment windows, neighbors of Kitty offered such excuses as they didn’t want to get involved, they were too tired, or they didn’t know why. "Does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?"

"Those in a position to help in difficult, dangerous circumstances are tempted to deny reality ... Some people think that any potential danger to self or family frees them from moral obligation to do good. This view, in thought and deed, entails the moral and spiritual collapse of a society. It stands under the judgment of the One who sees through human self-deception and denial of reality." (Raymond C. Van Leeuwen, Proverbs in New Interpreter’s Bible, 5:214)

The man who walks the path of godly righteousness can not content himself with the thought that he has not actively harmed others. Wilfully turning a blind eye to abuse, murder, gossip, slander, character assassination or any other evil perpetrated against innocent people is to connive in their harm as surely as the ones actively engaged in the violence. To seek the righteousness of God means we cry out for justice, rebuke the evil, and offer assistance to the hurt and injured. Doing so may mean we place ourselves in harms way. But it may also mean we will never be more like Jesus than when we do.

Warren Baldwin

MOCKERS

MOCKERS

"Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger." Proverbs 29:8

Mockers are tough to deal with. Mockers are wise guys. Not wise as in, "Boy, is he SMART." But a wise guy as in, "He has a sharp tongue. He’ll cut you to the quick."

Mockers are quick-witted. They always have a snappy answer. And it usually is sharp and penetrating. If they direct their remarks to you, others will likely laugh, thinking the mocker is hilariously funny. But, you will feel the sting. You’ll know there is something besides the face-value of the humor. There is a sharp point that pierces your heart and your pride. And there are sharp barbs that keep the arrowhead painfully buried in your memory.

The mocker appears strong. If you challenge their humor with some humor of your own directed back at them, you will lose. Your joke won’t go over as well, or they will turn it back around on you. They already have the energy and momentum going in their favor. They already have the group laughing WITH them AT you. If you challenge the mocker, you are going against a stacked deck.

Mockers seems to be well adjusted people who are popular and well-liked. They seem to always have people around them. Those people are usually laughing. Some people are actually envious of mockers.

Mockers are quick-witted, no doubt. But mockers really aren’t strong. They appear that way externally, but inwardly they are a raging torrent and that rage actually makes them weak. The hurtful sarcasm is simply a way to keep people at arms length. They may lack self-esteem. They are often the ones who are envious of the higher character of someone else. They feel alone in a crowd because, even though it looks like they are accepted by other people, they haven’t accepted themselves. So, despite appearances, mockers are not well adjusted. They are "stirred up" inside - uncertain of themselves, poor self-esteem, angry. That is why, according to Solomon, they "stir up a city." They project their unease and discomfort onto everyone else with a biting, sarcastic humor that leaves other people hurt.

In contrast to the mocker is the wise man. The wise man may not be as quick-witted as the mocker, but he doesn’t have to be. He is not engaged in any put-downs of other people. He values their relationship too much to embarrass them in front of others. The wise man not only appears strong; he is strong. His inner strength comes from an assurance of the value God has assigned to him. And the mocker is well adjusted. He may not be popular, but whatever recognition he does receive from others is because of his calmness, his sense of value, and his fair treatment of others.

The wise man may not gravitate toward the center of attention like the mocker, but he doesn’t need to. His strength of character is read by people who recognize the value of character. And through them his influence is felt by others.

The influence of the mocker is to disrupt, disturb, upset. "Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended." (Prov. 22:10). Mockers use their insults to "stir up a city." But the influence of a wise man is to impart wisdom, build others up, calm the disturbance of the mocker. Wise men "turn away anger" - the anger of the mocker and the anger they create in others.

One of God’s blessing to us is the presence of wisdom mediated through other people! The wise offer a calm, soothing stability in our topsy-turvy world. They are powerful with a strength that comes from God - knowing his Word and living in relationship with Him. And they pass this strength on to the rest of us with their well-spoken words: "A man find joy in giving an apt reply - and how good is a timely word!" Prov. 15:23. By the speech we use, we can all choose to be the means by which God blesses others with his power for today.

Warren Baldwin

BELIEF AIDS

BELIEF AIDS

Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. Proverbs 16:20

Faith in God was birthed in my family. My parents took us to Bible classes and worship. They believed in God and taught and modeled faith for us. Faith was so natural and simple for me I couldn’t understand how anyone couldn’t believe in God.

My faith was buttressed in college where I studied Bible and theology. One class in particular, Christian Evidences, gave further information and support to faith. We studied some of the great thinkers in apologetics (the defense of faith) and classical arguments for believing in God.

We also learned sophisticated terms and concepts that have been used by Christian philosophers to defend the existence of God and give Christians confidence in their faith. One of these concepts is known as the Teleological Argument. The Teleological Argument is based on observation of the world, where we can see design, such as order and purpose. From this design we can reasonably conclude that a great designer planned the order and purpose in the universe. God is the great designer.

The Ontological Argument asserts that reason rather than observation is the basis for determining that God exists. The classic statement was made by St. Anselm in the 11th century. He wrote, "God is that than which nothing greater can be conceived." I first studied that concept when I was about 19 years old, and remember having such a difficult time trying to grasp it that I figured it had to be right, so God must exist!

The Cosmological Argument is also known at the First Cause or Uncaused Cause argument. It posits that nothing can cause itself. We can’t cause ourselves, we can’t make ourselves. So, our existence must be explained on the basis of something greater than us causing our existence. That something greater than us is God, also called the unmoved mover in this argument.

I don’t know how thoroughly I processed these thoughts and concepts, but they did give me some confidence that belief was reasonable. Men a whole lot smarter than me conceived these complex arguments, and if they believed in God, then it was reasonable for me to believe, too. I was comfortable with my faith.

That comfort was shattered in my mid-twenties when I read about a man’s explanation for not believing in God and I couldn’t successfully counter his reasons. Does God exist? Is he the creator? Is faith reasonable? These questions and more overwhelmed me through the day and late into the night. My study, sleep and calm were wracked by these disturbing questions that robbed me of peace. I dug out my old texts and studied the great philosophical arguments from my evidences class. These classic arguments satisfied the intellectual questions I had, but they couldn’t quiet the doubts I felt at an emotional and spiritual level.

These kinds of questions are tough when you are a preacher! I turned to a respected professor and explained my dilemma. He gave me a list of books and articles to read, and encouraged me to stay in the struggle. Faith was reasonable, he assured me.

With his encouragement I began a long study and search for myself. I am happy to say that the search and struggle were worth the effort. I do believe and am confident that faith in God and his redemptive plan in Jesus are reasonable. This belief forms the basis for my life, my family and my work. I am still a minister of the Gospel and believe this work has eternal value.

What confirmed the value of faith for me? It wasn’t the complicated and sometimes confusing teleological, ontological and cosmological arguments. No, it was something that went beyond the intellect to the heart. While a number of factors confirmed the value of faith for me, one of the most convincing was the presence of good people in my life who faithfully modeled faith in their daily lives. Those who heed the instruction of God prosper, not necessarily in worldly terms, but in the quality of their personal lives and their relationships. Good people who love God encourage my faith more than anything else, and because of them, I have been one of the blessed because of trust in the Lord.

Warren Baldwin

Mortal Combat

MORTAL COMBAT

Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance. Proverbs 20:18

The armies numbered in the tens of millions. There were tens of thousands of tanks and planes. Each side was determined to wipe out the other. Few military operations in history continue to generate the interest as the war between Germany and Russia.

For a time, both sides practiced a policy of no retreat. They would stand and fight for hours, even days, nonstop, no sleep, no dinner breaks, just shooting round-the-clock. The Russians even had lines of soldiers behind the frontline troops. If any troops retreated, they were shot by their fellow Russians positioned behind them. German armies occasionally found thousands of Russian bodies that they didn’t kill . . . they were mowed down by their own soldiers when they tried to retreat. The Russians even welded the doors of the tanks shut with their troops inside so they would not be able to get out. There was no use in retreating. Their only option was to plunge ahead into the German lines.

Can you imagine how brutal such a policy was? No retreat. No withdrawal. In the end, that policy hurt both sides. The Germans lost hundreds of thousands of troops that they might not have lost if they allowed retreating and regrouping; the Russians lost millions. Neither side showed very much concern for their own troops. The Russians often left their own wounded on the battlefield to fend for themselves.

The war between Germany and Russia was mortal combat such as the world had never seen. In the end, both sides counted their casualties in the millions. It was a no-holds-barred, all-out, conquer-or-be-conquered, winner-takes-all war drama. See why this war continues to generate interest?

There is another reason why this war interests me. I see it as a type for the kind of war we are in, those of us who believe in good and evil, light and darkness, heaven and hell. We are literally in a no-holds-barred, all-out, conquer-or-be-conquered, winner-takes-all war drama. No quarter is given by the enemy. Losers face a prisoner-of-war camp . . . the Bible calls it a lake of burning sulphur for the devil and his army (Matt. 25:41).

There is no retreating in this war either. Jesus said that no man who looks back is fit for the plow. We forge ahead. In Matthew 16, he said we storm the gates of hell. We are an army on the march.

I know this makes it sound pretty dramatic. It is dramatic. Even though we may not always be conscious of the war we are in, God is always aware. The devil is also always aware. The battle costs the life of Jesus. It may cost you yours . . . but it doesn’t have to. Jesus lived and died to free us from the power of the evil one. "You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

"Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance." Fortunately, in this spiritual war we are in, we have advice and guidance from the Lord himself. As long as we continue to fight on the side of he who is "the way, the truth and the life," we will have victory.

Warren Baldwin

Land Mines

LAND MINES

The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. Proverbs 4:18,19

Into the black of night shines the first gleam of dawn, dispelling the darkness and giving sight to our eyes. This experience of first light and the ability to see is a metaphor for the spiritual light that shines into our hearts when we follow the way of godly wisdom and walk in the path of righteousness. The righteous can see the dangers of foolish living because God’s light, mediated through the wise words of the Sage and other godly teachers, enlightens their heart. In the wisdom of Proverbs, such behavior as anger, resentment, adultery, excessive spending, gossip, miserliness, inconsiderate humor, lying, violence, theft, laziness, incessant talking, and unreflective speech are foolish and sinful. The wise pursue the path away from these things, continually seeking the light of God.

The wicked do not live in the light but in the darkness, so they can not see the dangers that follow sinful and foolish living. They stumble along, as in the black of night, losing friendships, getting into trouble, losing their money, constantly arguing and fighting, shattering families, and they "do not know what makes them stumble," even though it is their own behavior. Two common responses of foolish people to the harm that comes into their lives is, "It is someone else’s fault" and "Why am I always so unlucky?"

I’ve learned that even those who pursue the light, and try living wisely, encounter situations that make them stumble and they do not know why. They try to maintain healthy attitudes of love and gratitude and they try to live righteously, but they occasionally find themselves inexplicably acting out of character. They may explode in anger, flirt, accept the amorous overtures of a stranger, act immorally, or tear down another’s reputation. How can ten or fifteen years of righteous living be disrupted by such unusual behavior in a good person’s life?

A preacher meeting with a young ministry couple told them, "If you have any unresolved issues in your lives, address them now, early in your marriage and ministry. If you have any neglect, abuse, deep-seated anger, or aberrant behavior, get it out and address it now. Seek counseling if you need help identifying and addressing some of the problems. A few years from now the pressures of marriage, family and ministry will squeeze you like a sponge, and if you don’t have your inner issues resolved, they will erupt out of your life with ugly and destructive force."

My friend and fellow preacher, Leslie Chapman, says we all have land mines in our lives. A land mine is an explosive device used by the military during a war. It is buried just under the surface of the ground, typically on a path frequented by the opposition. An enemy soldier walking along will unknowingly step on the land mine and trigger the mechanism, causing an explosion that will surely maim, and possibly kill, the soldier who stepped on it and others standing nearby.


Usually after a war land mines are removed. But, they can’t always be accounted for and some remain in place even after hostilities have ceased. Many of the land mines Russia buried in Afghanistan in the 1980s were not removed at the end of the war, and years afterwards civilians were injured and killed when they unsuspectingly stepped on one. The force of the bomb, which should have been exploded during the initial hostilities, remained buried and out of sight, and caused its destruction years later against innocent people.

Land mines in our lives are like that, too. Even after righteous living for many years, an event or conversation can trigger a land mine that has been buried in our lives for years, even decades. The trigger might be a perceived slight, an injustice, financial pressure, changes in the home, business failure, and a host of other things. The trigger takes us back, immediately, to the emotions of the abuse, unresolved hurts, anger or moral failure we experienced years before. In nanoseconds we relieve the original experience and feel the emotions of it. So, when we react to the trigger event, we are not responding to it like we think we are, but the to unresolved event from years before. And, like the land mine, we explode with destructive force against innocent people who had nothing to do with our original problems.



Land mines in our lives can take several forms. For some, significant pressure can lead them to explode in wrath and rage. They may make harsh accusations and even threats. When the rage subsides and emotions settle, they will ask themselves, "What just happened? Why did I do that? I’m not even that upset with the guy, in fact, he is my friend."

For someone else, significant stress and pressure, particularly if it is at home, may lead them to seek relief in the wrong set of arms. But, feeling failure or lack of appreciation at work can be triggers for immoral behavior, too. Someone dwelling excessively on self-pitying emotions and thinking "I deserve to be treated better," is a prime candidate for an affair. There is a man or woman out there who is equally desperate for attention, and will readily grant you the understanding and affection you seek.

Land mine explosions are not limited to angry eruptions or adultery. They can include belittling humor, pornography, stealing, lying, and violence. A land mine explosion is any behavior that is foolish or sinful and is out of character for the person performing it. After their aberrant and unusual acting out they wonder where the bad attitudes and behavior came from. Like the man walking in darkness, they do not know what made them stumble.

You can not undo a land mine, but you can learn from it and even profit from it. Here are some suggestions for dealing with the land mine episodes in your life.

One, own the emotions and behavior. Yes, it may have been out of character, but you said it or did it. You are guilty, so admit it. Denying, minimizing or dismissing the sinfulness and destructiveness of your actions will not erase them, but will simply re-bury the land mine, readying it with another deadly charge. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8). Openness and honesty are the beginning steps to shine light into the darkness of our hearts and purge the evil.

Two, Take stock of what happened. What was the trigger that made you explode? Why were you so unstable and combustible? Have similar events happened in your past that you never addressed then? Is it possible that these past experiences are lying just under the surface of your heart and are too easily activated? Talking to a friend or even a counselor may help identify patterns in your life and behavior that will reveal unresolved issues.

Three, don’t blame anyone else for your current problems or even past ones. Parents who were neglectful, siblings who were abusive or former employers who were unappreciative may explain some of your unstable tendencies, but simply blaming them will not relieve you of the problems. The problems are yours to deal with.

Four, make amends when possible and appropriate to anyone you have hurt. Apologize, make repayment for anything you have damaged or taken, seek reconciliation. A third party may be necessary to help with this.

Five, work on your character. Continue walking in the path of righteousness. Seek God’s will for all things in your life. Pray for strength in your areas of weakness. Do not leave the land mines in your life unresolved. Left unattended they will eventually explode, and the damage they cause can be irreparable.

Through Christ we have been set free from the law of sin and death (Rom. 8:2). But, even though we have crossed from death to life in Christ, the heart continues to be a battleground where the old man of sin and the new man of righteousness struggle for control. We have to submit to the Spirit of Christ that now reigns in our hearts and is actively working to purge the sinful nature. "Therefore, do not let sin (a land mine?) reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires" (Rom. 8:12).

God is working to purge our lives of darkness and the foolishness, sin and land mines that proliferate in it. Submit your will to his, humbly and honestly admit sin, and seek God’s work in your life for character transformation.

Warren Baldwin

God is our Shield

GOD IS OUR SHIELD

"He (God) holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones." Proverbs 2:7-8

Proverbs chapter 2 has three parts to it: One, the writer, known as "the Sage," encourages young people to seek wisdom and a relationship with God. Two, he encourages the development of moral sensitivity, or a conscience. Three, he encourages wise choices in our selection of friends, with the promise that with wise choices we will avoid evil and will be rewarded by God.

The problem is, how many of us consistently do all of these good things? Attaining Wisdom is a life-long pursuit. It involves hard work and consistent effort. It means we have to think, ask hard questions, study and always be open to learning. Sometimes it is exhausting, and when we fail it can be so frustrating. And, along the way, we often stumble and fall. The truth is, we sometimes pick the wrong friends, make bad choices, and get ourselves into trouble.

If we are not careful we can despair of ever living the righteous life that God wants for us to lead. The righteous life doesn’t mean a perfect life, it means a life that is living in the direction God wants it to go, being molded and shaped by God’s spirit and truth. To be righteous means we try to live as God wants us to, being shaped by the Bible and making ethical choices. For example, if we have the opportunity to make a lot of money fast but illegally, we will choose not to. Making money illegally or immorally is against God, so the righteous person won’t do it.

A young man was arrested for dealing illegal drugs. At the time of his arrest he had several thousand dollars stashed away. After his release from custody, and a stint at rehabilitation, he was going to go back to his stash and get it for himself. But, while he was in custody he began to realize that the money he had hidden was illegal and immoral. He made that money selling drugs to other children. His conscience began to develop to the point that he didn’t feel it was the right thing, the Christian thing, to enjoy the money that he had obtained immorally. He decided to let the money go, along with the friends and lifestyle from his drug-using and drug-selling days. That was a righteous decision.

Making righteous decisions is not easy. But there is good news for those trying to live righteously: we are never fully alone. Even if we stand alone, even if we stand apart from friends or classmates because we have different interests than they do, we are never truly alone. God holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless. We have God as our shield to help and protect us when we are trying to live righteously.

In ancient times warriors would carry a shield into battle. Defensively a shield protected a soldier from arrows or swords. He could hide behind his shield and protect his body from being hit. Offensively a soldier could use it to push against an enemy line or even strike an enemy soldier. It was an indispensable part of a soldier’s equipment.

This piece of military equipment is used as a metaphor for the kind of protection God offers us. God will protect us against attacks from enemies and he will go ahead of us to strike at the temptation waiting to engulf us.

Interestingly, the word used for shield actually means, resource, defined as "an inner power that helps one escape a fix." (Fox, 1:114). God is our resource to protect us and guide us as we seek to live righteously. He guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

How is God a shield or resource for us against evil companions or temptation to sin? One, remember God’s promise that he will never allow us to be tempted above what we can bear. (1 Cor.10:13). Secondly, the wise counsel of parents and spiritual friends is a valuable ally in finding the strength to do what is right. (Proverbs 27:9-20). Thirdly, having the Word of God in our hearts and trusting it above our own opinions is one of the greatest resources God gives us to shield us on the path of righteousness. (Proverbs 3:1,5).

Warren Baldwin

Two Meals

TWO MEALS

Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn out its seven pillars. She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table. She has sent out her maids, and she calls from the highest point of the city. ‘Let all who are simple come in here!’ she says to those who lack judgment. Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed." Proverbs 9:1-5

Food serves our bodies and our relationships. The nutritional value of the food sustains our bodies and gives them strength. The relationship value of food sustains our bond with family and friends when we dine together. Mealtime provides opportunity for being vulnerable, sharing stories, enjoying fellowship, healing past wounds, and eagerly anticipating future banquets together.

So important is this latter function of sharing a meal together to build and sustain relationships that the Bible draws upon the experience to illustrate higher realities beyond the meal itself. Proverbs 9:1-6 is an example of that.

Two meals are served in Proverbs 9, the first by an industrious host commonly referred to as Woman Wisdom. This woman built a house requiring seven pillars, indicating it is wide and spacious, thus able to accommodate many guests. She set a luxurious table of meat and wine. Meat was a special treat for many ancient people, and the wine was mixed, meaning she probably added special spices to create a unique and satisfying flavor. After the meal was ready Woman Wisdom sent her servants out to the highest point of the city to cry out, "Let all who are simple come in here ... Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed." Those who attend this banquet will find nourishment for their bodies, but they will find even more. The fellowship value of this meal means that those who dine here will be able to "walk in the way of understanding."

Meanwhile, another woman in Proverbs 9 is inviting guests in to her meal as well. This hostess is known as Woman Folly. Unlike Woman Wisdom, this second lady in not industrious with her house or her meal. In fact, she is loud, undisciplined and foolish. Instead of working hard she sits in the doorway of her house and calls out to those passing by, "Let all who are simple come in here!" She invites the same people Woman Wisdom does! In fact, they both proffer their invitations at the highest point of the city, a place of great significance, and they invite the same people, those who are simple and gullible. But whereas the first lady served fine meat and wine, the second serves stolen water and food. "Stolen water is sweet," she says, "food eaten in secret is delicious." The enticing element of this second meal is not the nutritional value of the food, but the excitement of the erotic and forbidden nature of the meal. It is secretive, and those who dine here do not nourish their bodies, but revel in pleasures that are improper. In fact, any pleasures experienced by those who fill themselves on this meal will be short lived. "Little do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of the grave." (Prov. 9:13-18).
Obviously, something is taking place here that is larger than the meal itself. The Sage is using food and meal as a metaphor for paths of life. Woman Wisdom, the grand and industrious lady who serves a fine meal and whose diners become wise, is issuing her call from God. She is inviting the simple to come follow the ways of divine wisdom and godly ethic. She calls the gullible to leave the world and enter relationship with God.

Woman Folly, on the other hand, represents any competing thought, personality or system to the great God of heaven. Like Woman Wisdom, Woman Folly is positioned at the highest point of the city, the place where temples were built in ancient society. Whereas Woman Wisdom represents God, Woman Folly would represent the false idols and religions that plagued Israel. Today, she would represent anything that calls us away from godly living with its promise of sweet, forbidden drink and pleasure.

God has served a meal, rich, succulent, hearty and nutritious. It feeds more than our bodies; it feeds our lives, character and souls. In the immediate context, the meal is the wisdom of Proverbs. In the larger context, the meal is the whole Bible, from which we learn of the invitation to salvation in Jesus and a relationship with God.

The father calls us. "Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have fixed. Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of understanding (Prov. 9:5-6). Dinner is served. Will you come?

Warren Baldwin

Note: Please read Laries review of Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems from Proverbs on her blog, My Heart Speaks.

JUDGMENT OR MERCY?

JUDGMENT OR MERCY?

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

Bill and Karen were blind to their own weakness and hypocrisy. They felt very comfortable acting as the judge and jury of their congregation as they ruled on doctrinal soundness, member behavior and moral performance. Bill and Karen exuded confidence to the point of pride. It was inconceivable to them that they could be wrong in their judgments or in their own personal deportment.

One of Bill and Karen’s chief problems was a poor memory. When Jeremy, a young man in the congregation, was arrested for possession of an illegal substance at a party, Bill and Karen turned their full attention to his case. They followed his arrest and court proceedings. They wondered if Jeremy showed enough remorse when he came back to church. Even his parents seemed a bit too casual about the whole problem. Bill and Karen didn’t like what they saw and expressed their concern and dismay to a number of members, but managed to restrain their full displeasure. But when Jeremy was asked by someone to help pass the collection plate, Bill and Karen couldn’t contain any longer.

"What is this church coming to? Here is a young criminal coming back to church before his sentence is even announced, and we welcome him back as if nothing happened? Shouldn’t something be said at church? Shouldn’t he have to make a statement of apology to all of us? When Simon the Sorcerer sinned publicly, wasn’t he publicly condemned by the Apostle? Should we do any less? I mean, we still love the boy, that is why we are so concerned. If we treat his sin too lightly, other kids in the church might start taking drugs, too. We can’t believe the church is doing this. Somebody needs to do something!"

Much of what Bill and Karen say is true. God does want confession for sin (1 John 1:8). Peter did severely castigate Simon. A bad example can lead others into bad behavior. Can anyone argue with these biblical principles?

But here is where Bill and Karen have a problem that is even more severe than that of Jeremy and his parents: they can be right in their judgment but totally wrong in their attitude and disposition. Having played the role of judge and jury for so long has deceived them into thinking that they are fit for that role by some kind of moral superiority. They simply cannot conceive that their judgment would be wrong. They cannot conceive that they could be wrong.

And they can’t remember their own past.
Twenty years ago, in this same community, Bill and Karen’s son was arrested for possession of an illegal drug. Further, he was arrested for drug use, underage drinking, and dealing. He was even guilty of repeat offenses. Over a period of several years and a couple of treatment programs, their son gained his sobriety, paid his debt to society, and began living cleanly. Today he is in a healthy marriage and is involved in his church.

But Bill and Karen forget that. They also forget that the church, the same church they are attending now, forgave their son and encouraged him in his first steps of sobriety.

Members of the congregation are speechless that today Bill and Karen would be so harsh and judgmental toward another young man guilty of a lesser offense than was their own son. Can they not remember?

How can Bill and Karen be so judgmental? Can they not remember their own families struggle years ago? Of course they can, but they choose not to. To remember would require humility and admission of their own family’s failings. Bill and Karen do not have the internal strength or moral integrity to make such an admission. Pride is so much easier. And a natural function of pride (not self respect, but haughty arrogance) is that we sit in judgment of everyone around us. A haughty spirit makes us feel safe and secure. It insulates us from moral assessment by other people and steels us to our own moral ineptness and hypocrisy.

That is why pride eventually leads to a fall. Haughty pride that sets us above others to judge and evaluate them also puts us in competition with God. The proud and haughty person is in essence trying to unseat God and do his job for him.

Does all this mean that we can never judge the attitudes or behavior of others? Of course not! We must recognize sin and name it (Rom. 1:18-32). We must call people to repentance, confession, baptism, and faithful living. But, we must remember four things as we minister to those in sin.

One, the Bible calls us to put off ungodly dispositions and actions from our own lives (Col. 3:5-9). The person who condemns sin in another while ignoring it in himself is sinful and invites God’s judgment upon himself (Rom. 2:3). His haughty spirit will lead to a fall before the throne of God.

Two, judgment must be done with a view toward restoration, reconciliation and peace (James 5:19,20). Even if the proud man’s judgment against another sinner is true, his arrogant disposition ruins any opportunity for real healing and peace to follow. "Pride only breeds quarrels ..." (Prov. 13:10), not friendship.

Three, the Bible calls for us to exercise mercy. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matt. 7:1-2). How can Bill and Karen read these verses and not feel a twinge of guilt that the same mercy and kindness that was extended to their son they now deny to another’s son? Oh that they could hear these words from Jesus: "Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" (Matt. 18:33).

Finally, Proverbs is very clear about how God feels about pride: "The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished." (Prov. 16:5). How ironic that in condemning another with a haughty spirit (even if the judgment itself is correct), the proud person threatens his own spiritual security.

Bill and Karen have enough biblical foundation to what they are doing to convince them and many of their close friends that they are right, always and without fail. Yet they can only maintain that posture by exercising an excessive degree of pride to mask their sin and keep their critics at bay. Yet all they while they are inwardly hoping no one will have the temerity to ask, "Ah, what about your son? Remember twenty years ago? Can you not extend a little compassion to Jeremy and his family?" No, they can not extend compassion. That is one of the pitfalls of pride, and one of the reasons it sets us up for a horrible fall.

Warren Baldwin

A KIND MAN

A KIND MAN

A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself. Proverbs 11:17

As a kid, I remember strangers knocking on our door in the country. City folks, many of them. They were usually lost, out of gas, or broken down. Mom and Dad always helped them with a few gallons of fuel or some makeshift repair on their automobile. I even remember one couple breaking down and staying at our house all night. In all those years, I never remember my parents taking any of the money that was offered to them for the help, service, or gasoline they gave. Never.

"Here, take a few bucks for the gas," someone would offer.

"No," Dad would say. "I’m just glad you appreciate it. But if you want to pay me back, next time you see someone broken down or in need of assistance, help them. That is how you can pay me back."

"A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself."

A kind man benefits himself . . . maybe a man like Abraham? Abraham had his character flaws, but he also had his character strengths. Remember when his nephew Lot was captured in battle? Forsaking his own safety, Abraham raised a band of men and went after Lot and rescued him. Even earlier, when Lot’s herds and Abraham’s herds grew too large for the land to support them, Abraham in his kindness allowed Lot to select the land he would like to move into. That was kindness.

That kindness paid off for Abraham. He was richly blessed by God. That’s not to say, of course, that every time we do something nice for someone we can expect a flood of blessings from heaven in reciprocation. As Christians, we have already received an abundance of blessings from heaven, including our redemption. But in a general way, acts of kindness tend to generate other acts of kindness, and at least sometimes, they come back to us. A kind man benefits himself.

A cruel man brings trouble on himself . . . maybe a man like Ahab? Ahab was the king who wanted the vineyard of Naboth. Naboth was living on land he inherited from his ancestors though, and he wasn’t willing to sell it to the king. Ahab’s wife, Jezebel, wasn’t one to let a simple citizen disappoint the aspirations of a king! She conspired with some lowlives to frame Naboth on trumped-up charges and had him executed. Ahab was a cruel man who was later killed in battle. Jezebel was a cruel woman who was later thrown to her death from an upper-story window. A cruel man brings trouble on himself.

A proverb is a truism or principle. A proverb should not be thought of as a rule that always works itself out in the same way in every circumstance. It is a principle that says, "In general, this is a statement that reflects my experience in life."

Somewhere in Solomon’s life, he experienced this truism: "A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself." Perhaps it was a kindness passed on to him he consciously passed on to another who passed it on to another who . . . well, you get the point. Whether it is sharing gasoline with a stranger knocking at your door or sharing food with a hungry child across the street, acts of kindness have a life to them that keep on living and enriching the lives of others.

In my many travels, especially as a college student driving old cars, I have been the recipient of a kind gentleman stopping to offer a hand to a kid who looked like he was in trouble. At times, I’ve offered a few bucks as a thank you. I’ve heard these words echoed from my childhood: "If you want to pay me back, next time you see someone broken down or in need of assistance, help them. That is how you can pay me back."

Warren Baldwin

This article is from my new book, Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems from Proverbs.

Fitting Speech

FITTING SPEECH

"The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse." Proverbs 10:32.

Children can sense when decency has been violated. I was driving Wes and Jenny home from school when Wes asked me what a certain phrase meant. He was eight years old and had never heard that term before at home. I asked, "Where did you hear that?" "On the playground," he answered. "I’m glad you asked me what the phrase meant before you started using it. It’s not very nice, and I’ll have to explain it to you later when your five-year old sister isn’t around. She doesn’t need to hear about that yet."

Jenny had been sitting in the middle of the pickup seat during this conversation. Her eyes were big with curiosity and her head swivelled back and forth between Wes and me as we talked. When she heard that she would be denied the explanation until she was a bit older, she covered her ears with her hands and said, "Go ahead and tell him Dad, I can’t hear anything." "You can’t?" I asked her. "No, I can’t," she replied. I waited until later.

Children may not know what a vulgar term means, but they can sense if it has the ring of impropriety about it if they have never heard it spoken before in the home, church or other social gatherings of family and friends. They sense that an order has been violated and they are curious, even uncomfortable, about what it might mean.

This order or appropriateness is what Proverbs 10:32 is about. People who are righteous or wise in matters of godliness and propriety speak words that are fitting and pleasant; people who are not wise or righteous speak words that violate sensibilities and offend. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse

It seems strange to speak of lips as having knowledge, doesn’t it? "The lips of the righteous know what is fitting." Can lips know anything? This is an example of a common figure of speech in Proverbs known as metonymy, where one object is used in place of another object it is related to. Here, lips are used in the place of a heart that is attuned to God and his will. Such a heart is filled with a sense of God, his moral teaching, and his high regard for other people. The lips of this person express the substance of a heart filled with godly wisdom and righteousness, uttering words that are fitting and pleasant.

The lips or mouth of the wicked, however, speak what is perverse. Perverse means to "turn upside down" (Roland E. Murphy, Proverbs, p.76). It implies that proper order has been completely disrupted and upended. Instead of an atmosphere of appropriate speech characterized by intelligent discussion, respectful tones and encouragement for one another, perverse conversation is distasteful, even ungodly. The effect of such speech is to "confound the moral judgment of others, and to overthrow God’s rule" (Waltke, Proverbs. 1:480).

Do Christians take the subject of appropriate speech seriously enough? Are we occasionally lured into conversation or humor muddied by base innuendo or course language? Do we engage in negative, slanderous putdowns of other people? We may regard such offenses as inconsequential, but Proverbs 10:32 challenges our casual disdain. The mouth of the wicked (speak) only what is perverse. Another proverb threatens that such a tongue shall be "cut out" (Prov. 10:31) by God himself. Such a warning constrains us to examine our hearts and temper our tongues.

To be perverse means to turn God’s order upside down. It means to reverse the intention God had for the heart, purity and innocence, and fill it with filth and degradation. It means that when a heart that is impure speaks, wickedness flows forth. That wickedness may be gossip, slander, lies, course jokes, crude expressions or threats of violence. All of these manifestations of perverseness give evidence of a heart in need of cleansing. Even small children with tender hearts sense this. If only Christian adults had such spiritual orientation!

Our words reveal the substance of our heart. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting because they speak from a heart influenced and shaped by the Creator.

Warren Baldwin

Respecting Parents

RESPECTING PARENTS

"Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old" Proverbs 23:22

It disturbs me to hear a child yell at his parents, call them names, tell them to "shut up," and even slap them. But I do see and hear these things on occasion.

Parents who tolerate this kind of disrespectful behavior from their children are not only hurting the children, they are unraveling the fabric of their family and all of society. Churches, schools, the work place and even society at large must practice respect for one another and for the leaders within these communities if they are going to function in a way that is healthy and beneficial for the members. Training for that kind of respect begins at home, and where it is taught by the parents and appropriated by the children. Children must be taught to honor mom and dad.

Why should children be respectful toward their parents? I can think of at least three reasons. One, the parents have earned it. The Sage says, "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old" (Proverbs 23:22). This verse has a parallel structure where the second part builds on the first. Part one emphasizes listening to your father who gave you life, and part two emphasizes loving your mother when she is old. The second part builds upon the first, meaning that mom deserves respect because she, too, gave you life. You wouldn’t have a life if it wasn’t for the love of your mother and father who birthed you.

The phrase "do not despise your mother" has an interesting parallel to Genesis 25:34 where it says that "Esau despised his birthright." That doesn’t necessarily man that he hated it, but that he didn’t regard it with proper honor. Because he didn’t honor his birthright he traded it for a measly bowl of beans. What a tragic loss. The injunction to not despise our mother doesn’t mean we are showing her proper honor if we don’t hate her; it means we should not ignore her needs or treat lightly her position as the exalted matriarch of the family.

Mothers and fathers spend years investing their time, energy and love into the lives of their children. The Bible honors that great work and says the children should as well. The command to respect parents is one of the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20:12; Lev. 19:3).

Secondly, children need to honor their parents because it is right. Respect is like the concrete in a wall. Concrete is hard and firm so it can uphold the building. Remove the firmness from the concrete and the walls will collapse, crushing everyone inside the structure.
In the same way, remove respect from a child’s relationship with his parents and the walls of the family will collapse. Children will not listen to and obey their parents if they don’t respect them. If they don’t listen to their parents then their leading counsel becomes the immature reasoning of their own minds or that of their friends. It is only through giving their ears and hearts to their parents that children learn wisdom and proper behavior and can hope for a meaningful and prosperous life (Prov. 3:1-2).

Finally, children need to honor their parents because it is biblical. "Honor your father and your mother" (Ex. 20:12). God emphasizes the importance of respecting parents when he ties it to his own personality. After saying in Lev. 19:3 that "Each of you must respect his mother and father" he adds "I am the Lord your God." There shouldn’t be any doubt about how seriously God regards this command! In fact, in ancient Israel a son who showed flagrant disrespect for his parents could be stoned.

Parents, our children will not naturally or automatically show us respect. They will not show politeness in speech nor decorum in behavior unless we teach them to. Their natural inclination will be to do their own thing, disobey us, talk back, yell and scream, throw a temper tantrum, even slap us. Many parents laugh when their children do these things. Perhaps they are embarrassed when it is done in front of others. Or, the parents may even think it is cute when coming from a tiny child. "Do you see how mad he is?" and then they laugh. But I tell you, if we tolerate that behavior, we are teaching our own little kids that they do not need to respect us. We are teaching them that our ideas, our values and our rules as the parents do not matter, and they can do whatever they want to. That might mean jumping on the sofa and making a face at mom at age 4; and it might mean shoplifting, drinking, and robbing from the neighbors when they are 14. Remember the stern warning from Proverbs that "a child left to himself (that is, untrained and undisciplined) disgraces his mother" (Prov. 29:15).

Do your children an immense favor! Teach them to respect you. Respecting you means they listen to and obey you in everything. It also means they don’t talk back to you or speak in fresh tones. Further, practice corrective discipline when they disobey, even when they are very young. If they are old enough to break the rules, they are old enough to have obedience enforced.

Respect will continue to be an issue in families even as children grow up and leave home. But if we can at least build a healthy base when they are 18 months to 3 years old, it makes the teenage years a whole lot more enjoyable!

Warren Baldwin

Foreword to Roaring Lions

FOREWORD TO
Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems from Proverbs

Proverbs are short, pithy sayings that arrest our interest and demand our attention. They are catchy and memorable, making them easy to transport to new situations. Proverbs can spark lively conversation or intense debate.

Proverbs are all around us, even in the secular world. "If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again." "A dollar saved is a dollar earned." "The early bird gets the worm." Such witticisms take years of accumulated wisdom and experience and condense them into short, catchy sayings. These sayings can be memorized and applied to future settings that reflect similar elements. Such truisms become the truth and guiding lights of our lives. Thomas Long, author of Preaching and the Literary Forms of the Bible writes, "The question is not, will people live by proverbs, but what kind of proverbs will they cherish?" (p.55)

Like the secular sayings, the biblical proverbs reflect wisdom and experience, but they offer the added ingredient of divine influence and personality. One purpose of Proverbs is to promote a relationship with God. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." (3:5) The real aim of Proverbs is not to equip us with witty sayings to help us function more professionally in the world; it is to promote godly character so that we can enjoy virtuous relationships with God and people.

Proverbs function by stirring our imagination. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." (27:6) Is this saying true? Our minds rush to situations in life where a friend hurt our feelings by telling us an uncomfortable truth about ourselves. After the pain of the unwelcome comments faded, we were able to assess their truthfulness and possibly conclude, "My friend was right. I was out of line. I need to conduct myself with more discipline and dignity in the future." Then, our minds may rush to compliments and flattery an "enemy" showered upon us, only to realize later their emptiness. They were not intended to encourage us but to secure some selfish aim for the one offering the praise.

A proverb stirs our imagination by drawing our minds backwards to situations that reflect the meaning of the saying. Our own experience in life confirms its truthfulness. Secondly, a proverb pushes our thinking forward to future situations, arming us with insight into appropriate thinking and behavior. (Long, 57)

Here is an example of what I mean. Proverbs 15:17 says, "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred." This proverb pushes my mind back to the Vermont farmhouse where I grew up. Our kitchen was small and square shaped and wouldn’t accommodate a typical dining room table. So, we used a square-shaped picnic table complete with wooden benches and the occasional splinter. No one minded, not even company. Our home was the gathering spot for family activities and dinner here was the central event of the day. Around the family picnic table my siblings and I learned about history, our family roots, sex and marriage, philosophy of life, and even how to treat a little sister. "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love ..."

This proverb also pushes my mind back to my college days. At a Friday night devotional I saw a young lady I had known casually for several years. I asked her if she’d like to grab something to eat. In Henderson, TN, there wasn’t much available at 10:30 p.m. except a truck stop. Not only were the dining options limited, but my money was as well. We shared an order of Ore Ida Tater Tots and soft drinks. It was simple, relaxing and fun. The young lady seemed happy and accepted what little I was able to provide. I thought, "She is a gem." We have been eating meals together for twenty-seven years now. "Better a meal of Ore Ida Tator Tots where there is love..."

When my family traveled to Cody, WY, to interview with a church, I wanted to eat elk meat. A gentleman and his wife prepared a wonderful meal for us, featuring Wyoming elk. We loved not only the delicious food but also the friendly reception we received and the warm conversation around the table. We moved to Cody and this kind couple prepared many more meals for us. "Better a meal of elk with Marion and Violet where love is ...."

Many more special meals from the past flood my mind. Bill and Shirley shared their table with me when I was interviewing in Ulysses, KS. A river bank was transformed into a kitchen when George, Ruby and their clan invited my family to frequent fish fries in Florida. My future in-laws, Jim and Thelma, treated me as an honored guest at their table when I called on their daughter and loaded me up with leftovers for my return to graduate school. My fellow members at the church in Ulysses make our Wednesday meals of pancakes and sausages or ham and beans a feast of friendship and fellowship. "Better a meal of hot dogs where there is love ..."

Sometimes these meals of the past were sumptuous feasts of fine food. Sometimes they were a simple array of common fare. But always they were celebrations of friendship with conversation that bound our hearts together in love. These meals of the past prepare me for future experiences of sharing the table with treasured family and friends. Proverbs 15:17 is right.

The proverbs stir our imagination. In the following pages I share with you how individual proverbs stirred my thinking, and I hope they do the same for you.

Warren Baldwin

Note: You can read information about ordering Roaring Lions here.