A Cheerful Look

A CHEERFUL LOOK

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. Proverbs 15:30

Henry David Thoreau wrote, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation...." (Walden). Thoreau applied this saying to men whose work is oppressive and they fail to find satisfaction and enjoyment. But, it could equally apply to those who suffer in silence from any number of blows life can deliver. Think of a family that struggles financially all their lives but never gets their head above water. They miss vacations, new vehicles and a retirement program they hear so many others talk about.

Think also of a family that struggles with perpetual health issues. They can’t eat this; they can’t eat that. As neighborhood children gather to play baseball and football, their son or daughter watches from the safety of the living room window, but inside they hurt with a burning desire to be out there among friends, having fun.

A middle-aged man faces his failure everyday. Co-workers receive significant promotions and raises while he still languishes in obscurity. None of his hard work and devotion has caught the attention of company executives. He’ll end his career largely where it began, low on the rung of corporate position and pay scale.

Every teenage boy and girl knows the feeling of quiet desperation. Every teenager at some point feels alone, isolated, judged and unworthy. It may be acne, a body that doesn’t measure up to the image of feminine beauty or masculine toughness, or general insecurity, but every teenager has felt those devastating emotions. More than few adults have, as well.

A mother of a special needs child wrote this a couple of weeks before Christmas: "We did skip Christmas last year. We had the Christmas morning thing with Stephen and my parents came by on Christmas Eve to bring his presents, but we skipped our family get together. That’s right. No "Mia’s famous cheese ball", no cakes, pies or fudge. No eggnog, no hot apple cider. Baaah! It was almost as if Ebenezer Scrooge himself lived here (before his transformation). When did I start disliking the holidays so? What used to be my favorite time of year is now something I dread like a root canal. No, that isn’t true. I’d rather have a root canal. I think as Stephen has gotten bigger and the care giving has gotten more difficult, I’ve gotten older and more arthritic. Therefore, the part of me that once enjoyed doing those things was shoved aside as real life, as we know it, forced its way in. I want to enjoy the holidays, I just don’t have the strength to get there. Exhaustion is a wicked, wicked little monster."

The feelings of weariness, failure, aloneness and futility assail most everyone at some point. When those emotions linger they become stifling and oppressive. Elsewhere the Sage writes, "All the days of the oppressed are wretched" (Prov. 15:15a).

Writing and reading this seems heavy, even oppressive. But, it is the stuff of life, and Proverbs is not afraid of tackling some of the stickiest burdens we face. Proverbs acknowledges that sometimes the painful issues of life attack without mercy and leave our hearts hurting and bones aching.

Proverbs 15:30 addresses the inner being of a person. The heart is the center of emotions and thoughts. It is the inner concept we have of ourselves. We may feel like we are a failure, an outcast, a worthless being. These kinds of negative impressions of ourselves can come from the way others treat us or from our own misbehavior. When David summed up his feelings about his sin with Bathsheba he wrote, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10). David wanted purity of heart to replace the sinful images he had of Bathsheba. But I think he also wanted to feel freedom from condemnation. We repent after we sin and know in our heads that God has forgiven us. But can’t we sometimes carry that shame and reproach of that sin, and we can’t feel the freedom of forgiveness? I think that is what is troubling David.

David writes further, "Let me hear joy and gladness, let the bones you have crushed rejoice" (v.8). God didn’t literally crush David’s bones. But David is feeling such intense inner pain it is as if his bones are fractured. You can’t do much with fractured bones. You may not be able to stand, walk or lift anything. Life shuts down. A fractured spirit does the same thing to us. The weight of failure, shame and loneliness can shut us down like a fractured leg. "Heal me," David pleads. Let the feeling of fractured bones deep in my heart heal so I can enjoy life again."

What can we do for someone we may know suffering from any of these debilitating emotions? Proverbs 15:30 mentions two things we can do for the weary spirit.

One, we can give them a cheerful look. A cheerful look may be as simple as a smile or a kind greeting. But the effect of the cheerful look is immeasurable. The cheerful look is "probably the eyes of persons whose good demeanor encourages those with whom they come in to contact" (Tremper Longman, Proverbs, p.323). A sincere cheerful look communicates forgiveness, value, and dignity. That gives fresh hope and life to an aching heart that thinks it is unworthy.

Two, we can speak good news. "Good news gives health to the bones." Sometimes it is hard to know how to speak good news. What do you say to someone who has lost a job, their health, or a loved one? Great care must be given. Ultimately, good news is associated with what we know about Jesus: he loves us, he values us, and he wants to forgive us, no matter what we have done.

The Luke 7 woman could tell us about a cheerful look and good news from Jesus. In her quiet desperation she barged into a luncheon of Jesus and some important Pharisees. She was a sinful woman, and everyone there knew that. When she touched Jesus feet one of the Pharisees thought to himself, "How could Jesus let her touch him? She is a sinner!" Implied in his evaluation of this woman was derision and disgust. No doubt the woman felt the eyes of the Pharisees boring into her with the unspoken message: "You make me sick."

But Jesus let her touch his feet. Then, looking at the woman, he spoke to Simon the Pharisee and said, "Her many sins have been forgiven - for she has loved much." Remember, he spoke to the Pharisee, but looked a the woman as he spoke. And what do you think his stare was like? I’ll bet it was cheerful. Jesus gave a cheerful look and good news to this desperate woman. Then he told her, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." She could go in peace because Jesus brought joy to her heart and given health to her bones.

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. We know the one who delivers joy and is the good news - Jesus. We have experienced his healing.

There is a mass of men leading lives of quiet desperation. We can’t change their circumstances. They still have to work jobs that may not be fulfilling, work through feelings of failure, loneliness and worthlessness, and struggle with health issues. But we can help change their lives. We can deliver joy and health with the power of our look and the story we tell of Jesus.

Warren Baldwin

An Encouraging Word

AN ENCOURAGING WORD

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Proverbs 12:25

Anxiety is a form of fear, fear of failure, fear of not having done well enough, fear of not being good enough.

Christians often experience anxiety over their salvation. "Have I done what God has commanded? Am I living in his grace? Has he forgiven all of my sins, even ones I have forgotten and haven’t named to him? Am I saved? If I died today, would I lose my soul, or would I be in heaven?"

You can get a sense of the anxiety Christians experience by asking them if they are saved. Ask them if they would go to heaven if they died today. Usually the answer is something like, "I hope so." In that lack of certainty anxiety is born. Fear.

Not all of our fears are as deep and theologically oriented as questions of salvation. Many of our anxious thoughts are about things like the ball game, our first date, making enough money to pay the bills. These are all important issues, but certainly not of the caliber of fears about heaven or hell.

Whether our fear is about something relatively trite, like if we’ll score a basket in the game, or extremely significant, like if we are going to heaven, our fears are very real to us and very important.

Solomon understood that. He understood that "An anxious heart weighs a man down ..." An anxious heart robs us of energy during the day and it keeps us up at night. It disrupts our focus and disturbs our peace. An anxious heart is not pleasant.

Time and experience teaches us that if we look at our worries in context and think far enough ahead, we can work ourselves out of our anxiety. Most of what we worry about won’t come to pass.

But there is another source of comfort to us when we are anxious: the presence of an encouraging person. "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."

Some people are blessed with insight into another’s heart and concerns. They seem able to read the signs of someone’s distress, and they have the heart to relieve them of that discomfort. They speak words that lift the spirits and enliven the heart. These people are encouragers. So important is their work that the Holy Spirit has actually gifted them with the ability to encourage others (Romans 12:8).

Why don’t we see more people with this gift? Why don’t we exercise it more ourselves? Maybe our own hearts won’t allow us. Charles Swindoll writes, "There are those who seem to be waiting for the first opportunity to confront. Suspicious by nature and negative in style, they are determined to find any flaw, failure, or subtle weakness in your life, and to point it out. There may be twenty things they could affirm; instead they have one main goal, to make sure you never forget your weaknesses. Grace killers are big on the shoulds and oughts in their advice. Instead of praising, they pounce!" (Grace Awakening, Dallas: Word, 1990, p.62).

There are those who look for the fault and the failure. But thank God for the gracious man or woman who, having received grace from God for their own shortcomings, are willing to dispense with some of that grace to their anxious friends and neighbors. They have found an important key to a peaceful heart: Grace received and grace shared helps to dispel the fear from an anxious heart.

Warren Baldwin
From "Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and other Gems from Proverbs."